Fragile
by Pendragon22
Summary: With the Reapers defeated, the galaxy was given a chance to prosper and rebuild once again. Garrus was ready to spend his life with Shepard, the woman he loved. Except the war changed Shepard in more ways than one. Now Garrus is tasked with a difficult challenge of figuring out what caused Shepard's confident composure to finally crack. Post Destroy.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It's crazy how in the blink of an eye, everything around you can change.

It happened to Garrus. Not him personally but the people around him. People he loved. Shepard, the love of his life was the one who started to…change. At first he thought it was nothing. He assumed it was just the war that happened 2 years ago. 2 years since the Reapers had been defeated. 2 years since the destruction had ended. Nobody _ever_ walks away from something like that as the same person. You'll always end up changed in some way.

Except Shepard changed in more ways than one.

The promise of retiring and moving to a home on a beach was fulfilled. Life was finally normal for them. No more fighting, or hurting or struggle to survive. Just them and a wonderful future to look forward to. But in the blink of an eye, something caused Shepard to sink away into the shadows. It began with her mood. One day, she didn't have that same outgoing personality. She turned over to the quiet side – soft spoken and could be a little reclusive at times. Garrus thought of it as nothing - she had spent the last couple of years yelling at politicians and diplomats and platoon leaders to assemble their fleets and armies to fight the Reapers. Quiet was an interesting but normal change for her.

But was it really normal?

Another change was her reaction to the things that happened around her. Shepard wouldn't even notice them. Garrus would speak to her and she wouldn't respond until he repeated himself for a second time. Sometimes she'd just…stare out one of the windows and watch the beach waves roll in and recede. At times she would keep up a specific position for hours and would do nothing besides watch the beach through the window. Garrus could no longer assume there was something wrong – because something _was_ definitely wrong. The expression more than meets the eye seemed to fit Garrus' current situation. But first, to get the help he needed to find out exactly what Shepard had. This meant they would have to leave their home and go to the spot Garrus thought was the best place for professional aide: The Citadel.

Garrus planned to take Shepard back to her apartment, the one Anderson had given her during the war. He was worried the apartment might trigger unhappy memories of Anderson's death, but he hoped that in Shepard's current state of lethargy that she wouldn't mind too much. The SilverSun strip was among the many wards that had been rebuilt first. The Tiberius Towers had sustained little damage according to reports. That was surprising, but it was enough for Garrus. They had nowhere else to go and he refused to take Shepard back to the hospital. She'd spent enough time there already. Garrus knew for sure memories would come flowing back to her unpleasantly.

The morning seemed like the best time to leave. Traveling to the Citadel from their current location wouldn't take long but Garrus didn't want to risk leaving at night when Shepard would go upstairs for bed at any time. He also didn't want to rouse her from her sleep, packing up their belongings. Morning just felt right.

"What are you doing?" Shepard asked in a slow speech.

Another sign Garrus had noticed. Shepard talked in slow paces now and sometimes sounded monotone. The Shepard Garrus knew never once spoke in a monotone voice.

"Uh…well it was going to be a surprise but I guess I can tell you now: We're going to the Citadel" Garrus said.

Shepard stared at him momentarily before replying.

"The Citadel? Why?"

"Oh I just thought it be best. You know - a change of scenery. I figured we'd go back to your apartment on the SilverSun strip. We haven't been there since the party you threw for us during the…uh…war" Garrus explained.

"Oh" Shepard said. "When do we leave?"

"As soon as I finishing packing these" Garrus indicated to the bags with a hand motion "If we leave now we can be at the apartment in less than 4 hours"

Shepard's gaze fell upon the bags. Her head turned slightly sideways, like she was curious about the bags. Or like she'd never even seen one in her life. She remained silent, just looking at the bags.

"Shepard?" Garrus said.

No reply. All Shepard did was blink a few times and continue to stare intently at the bags resting on top of the bed.

Garrus felt a quick surge panic rise up in him. He walked over to where Shepard stood and gently grasped her shoulders. She made no movement, no reaction to his touch.

"Shepard? Sweetie, are you alright?" Garrus asked, lightly shaking her a bit.

"Hmm? Did you say something, love?" Shepard asked blearily.

"I said we're leaving to the Citadel right after I finish packing. Are feeling okay?" Garrus questioned.

Garrus saw he gaze falter for a second before she blinked rapidly a few times and looked back into his eyes.

"Of course I'm fine" Shepard said with a smile "You finish doing what you're doing. I'll go get the car started"

Garrus released his gentle grip from Shepard and watched her leave the bedroom and out into the garage. Even her walking, Garrus saw a change. Now she appeared to walk with an almost airy look – slow and graceful but still held some questions as to why she did that.

All the more reason why Garrus needed to get to the Citadel. He knew an old friend at Huerta Memorial who might just be the key to unlocking the door that would lead Garrus to all the answers about Shepard's new and unusual behaviour.

* * *

With everything Garrus thought he and Shepard would need, it was time to leave the beach dream home and return to the hub of the relay network. Garrus double locked the house just to be safe. There were no neighbors near them; in fact the next closest 'neighbor' per say was a probably a few hundred feet away. But you can never be too careful.

The car had been started and all the bags had been loaded into the back seats. Shepard took passenger while Garrus took the wheel. Steadily, Garrus manoeuvred the car out of the garage and took off towards the baby blue morning sky. He expected to be at the transport area in about 20 minutes.

"Isn't lovely outside? I wish we could've spent one last day on the beach before leaving" Shepard remarked.

"I promise you, we won't be staying on the Citadel long. Maybe a month or two" Garrus said.

_Or however long it takes for you to get better_

"That's sounds nice. Maybe we can invite some friends. I haven't seen the crew in a while" Shepard suggested.

"I like that idea. It could almost be like a reunion" Garrus agreed.

Shepard nodded, and then turned her attention to the outside again, watching the turquoise water and white sand islands below fly underneath the car. Garrus regarded her. She did seem fine at the moment. The conversation they just had didn't end with Shepard gazing off into oblivion. But she did sound soft-spoken again. Garrus shook off the thoughts. He couldn't keep dwelling on all her symptoms of signs of…whatever she was dealing with.

The sooner they got to the Citadel the sooner he'd find out.

The car was parked in a certain area of the transport area. Garrus and Shepard would walk on the ship and the car would be stored the bottom depths of the ship along with the hundreds of other passengers. That way, they could still use their car once they arrived at the Citadel. Sometimes, Garrus wished they had the Normandy and they could hop aboard and fly anywhere they wanted. But after the war ended, Shepard decided to give it up. She entrusted it to Joker and Garrus hadn't heard from the pilot since then. So he had no choice but to stick with public transportation.

The ship launched on schedule. The captain of the transport informed everybody over a comm. that they would arrive at the Citadel in around 3 hours. That was perfect for Garrus. The sooner the better. He let Shepard decide where she wanted to sit. She chose the observation lounge which had huge windows that were resistant to vacuum pressure in space and were also unbreakable. Just like the windows on the Normandy. Upon entering, Garrus eyes welcomed the all too familiar view of a galaxy of stars. As much as he enjoyed his current life on a beach, he had to admit some parts of him missed the inky black universe that glittered with billions of stars. Next to him, Shepard let out a sigh. She too was feeling the nostalgia. Space was her home, her birthplace. This was her real home.

The lounge held several couches and chairs for people to sit and chat or watch the stars drift by or to read. Shepard – who was grasping Garrus' arm – tugged him over to a nearby couch and sat. She continued to hold his arm like Garrus was her last lifeline. Her grip was gentle, but Garrus still wondered.

"Shepard I think you should lay down for a bit" Garrus said.

Shepard turned to face him. Her eyes looked a tad glassy and the whites of her eyes were the faintest of pink.

"You look tired, sweetheart. Lean against me and just rest a little" Garrus said with some urgency in his voice.

"Maybe you're right. I…I didn't sleep much last night" Shepard said, sounding convinced.

With that, she laid her head against Garrus' shoulder, her arms still clutching his. Garrus was tempted to tell her she could let go, but she looked so peaceful already. Instead, he let it go and eyed the observation windows in front of him.

_Soon _he thought

_Soon I'll figure out what's happening to you_

* * *

Upon entering the SliverSun strip, Garrus' eyes were insulted with various colours of bright, flashy neon. Sometimes he wondered who other people could put up with. He'd seen his fair share of neon when he worked with C-Sec. Shepard didn't seem too bothered with it. From the passenger seat of their car, she once again observed the scenery around them. She also remained completely silent. Shepard hadn't spoken since they left the transport. Garrus wanted to ask if everything was alright, but he shook it off. He'd be getting the answers he needed soon enough.

"Are we here?" Shepard asked, perking up in her seat.

"Yeah. And about time too" Garrus said.

He set the car down in a clear area, close to the doors of the apartments. Shepard leaned over the back seats and piled up the bags in her arms. Garrus provided some help.

"Are you sure we have everything? This doesn't seem like a lot" Shepard noticed

"I did say we weren't staying long. I brought the things we needed, don't worry about a thing" Garrus assured.

That earned Garrus a smile. He hadn't seen her smile like that in forever. Part of him wanted to feel convinced that she was okay and that nothing was wrong with her, he was imagining it, overreacting even.

But there was something wrong. This was no dream and he was in no way overreacting.

As happy as it made Garrus to see the smile, a genuine smile, he had to remind himself that he was just getting started. They were at the Citadel, but he still had to head over to Huerta and get the answers he so desperately wanted so that this problem could finally be solved.

Garrus ushered Shepard in front of him and followed behind her to the elevator. He hit the button that would take them up to the level of Shepard's apartment. The ride felt quick even though the apartment was practically the top floor. When the doors slid open, Garrus motioned with a hand, telling Shepard to go first.

"Oh it's like nothing even changed" Shepard said upon entering the apartment.

She was right. The apartment had luckily sustained little damage when the Crucible fired. Anything that had been damaged or ruined was replaced with the same style of furniture. It was just like old times, and Garrus felt somewhat glad to see the place again.

"Listen Shepard I think I forgot something. Would you mind taking the bags upstairs, I'll be back as soon as I can" Garrus said.

Shepard – who had moved over to a window – spoke her reply in a soft, airy voice

"Sure. I'll be waiting"

Garrus nodded slightly but realized it wasn't it didn't matter – Shepard wasn't even looking at him. What was it with windows? Was she actually watching the people in the streets below, or was she just thinking. What was she thinking about? Garrus had to stop thinking himself as once he pulled himself out of his trance; he was already in the elevator and just about to arrive on the main floor. He exited swiftly and slipped into the car. He wanted to make this quick. Garrus never particularly enjoyed lying to Shepard but he had to. He couldn't tell her he was going to the hospital, she'd question him and that would bring up all sorts of awkward excuses and stumbling over words. All he could do was hope Shepard wouldn't notice the time and everything would be fine.

Huerta still looked the same. Garrus never wanted to see this place again as it held too many memories of Shepard's painful and grueling recovery. But he had to, in order to figure out what was causing her current mood and behaviour change. Garrus came up to a hospital receptionist, who was typing away at a keyboard. She glanced up at Garrus briefly and then turned her attention back to the keyboard.

"Can I help you, sir?" she asked.

"I was hoping to speak to a doctor. It's important" Garrus explained.

"If you need to see a doctor, you'll have to make an appointment" the receptionist sounded annoyed for whatever reason.

"You don't understand, this is very important and I know this doctor. She served on the Alliance warship Normandy. Could you please get her for me, it won't take long" Garrus said, pleading ringing in his subharmonics.

The receptionist looked up at him and immediately, recognition crossed her face. Her lips parted a bit and her eyes widened an inch.

"Garrus. You're Garrus Vakarian. Oh my, I'm so sorry I thought…you were…uh…just another turian. I'll get Dr. Chakwas for you right away. Wait here please" the receptionist blushed brightly before hurrying off.

Garrus felt a bit of triumph. When you're the boyfriend to the most known woman in the galaxy who saved the galaxy 3 times over, it's hard to go unrecognized by the public. The attention could be nice sometimes and Garrus found himself smiling just a bit.

"Well, well. Look who it is. So nice of you to drop by Garrus" a familiar voice behind him spoke.

"Dr. Chakwas, nice to see you. Sorry to interrupt any work you were doing" Garrus said.

"Oh it was nothing important. I was just about to go on break anyway" the doctor said, flashing a warming smile.

"Anyway, what brings you here Garrus?"

Garrus took a second to gather the courage to say what he had to tell the doctor. He was sure nobody wanted to hear that the great Commander Shepard was slipping away, that the war hurt her more emotionally that physically.

"It's Shepard. Something is wrong and I need your help. She's changing…and…it doesn't look good" Garrus said in all seriousness.

The smile on Chakwas' face dissipated. Her grey brows furrowed a bit, wrinkling her already wrinkled forehead some more. She pursed her lips together, and then bit her bottom lip. Clearly she was in thought. Like Garrus had expected, nobody wants to hear that kind of news.

Finally, Chakwas looked him straight in the eye, a bold expression on.

"Come with me" she said.

With a nod of understanding, Garrus followed Chakwas' lead.

* * *

_AN: Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Leave a review if you like. Chapter 2 will be coming._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chakwas lead Garrus down into the inpatient wing. Even after all this time, there were still people crowding the floor on stretchers, or sitting on benches. There was still a sense of anxiety, worry and pain filling the area. It made Garrus feel uneasy.

"Have there been people waiting for treatment for 2 years?" Garrus asked.

"Technically yes. We took immediate attention to those who needed it most. Anyone with a minor injury was given some meds to help with whatever they were dealing with. Now, many have returned with complications from not getting better treatment from the start. I feel horrible" Chakwas admitted.

"You did everything you could. Giving them meds was better than giving them nothing at all" Garrus consoled.

"True, but I still feel horrible. I'm a doctor, devoted to giving help to anyone" Chakwas said.

Garrus remained silent, glancing every which way at helpless people. But he didn't have to look at them much longer as Dr. Chakwas arrived at her office. The automatic door slid open quietly. Chakwas ushered Garrus in, then locked the door from a keyboard in her office. After a couple of minutes of silence she waved Garrus to take a seat on one of the chairs. He did so without a word. Chakwas leaned against a wall and planted her forehead into the palm of a hand and rubbed her face as if she was tired. Once she had finished, she bravely looked Garrus in the eyes.

"Where do you want me to begin" Garrus started.

Chakwas let out a loud sigh "Honestly, I don't know. Who in the galaxy wants to hear that something is happening to Shepard. Nobody is what I think"

"Yeah, I've thought about the same thing" Garrus said. "I thought it was nothing at first but now…"

"It's…evolving isn't it? Getting worse?" Chakwas asked.

Garrus' silence and slight lowering of the head was all she needed to know that meant yes.

Chakwas pushed herself away from the wall and stalked over to her desk which was crowded with papers and datapads. Even the desk chair was covered so it seemed Chakwas spent most of her hours in the hospital standing or moving around to see patients. After sifting through some of the work, she retrieved a note-book by the looks of it from the pile of paper. She flipped it open to a clean page, took out a pen from nowhere and then turned her attention back to Garrus.

"What's that?" Garrus asked.

"I'm going to take notes on everything you say. Tomorrow I should be able to figure out a diagnosis for Shepard unless it turns out to be something very obvious that we can treat right away" Chakwas explained.

"Start with when you started to notice changes with her" Chawkas said quickly.

"Alright. I started to notice changes about a month ago. Shepard had been perfectly fine before. The first change was her mood. She turned…quiet you could say. You remember how Shepard always loved to go around the ship and talk to people. Now, I can't see her wanting to do that" Garrus explained.

"And you took that as nothing?" Chakwas said while scribbling down on the note paper.

"Of course I took it as nothing. I assumed it was the war. She did spend a lot of time talking and yelling at leaders to give their fleets for the fight. Quiet seemed like a reasonable change" Garrus said.

"Hmm" Chakwas mumbled and then wrote something down.

"Continue"

"Next was her reaction to things that happened around her. For example I would speak to her and she wouldn't reply. She'd usually be staring at something. So I have to get her attention and repeat what I said to her. She replies slowly now too, in an airy voice almost" Garrus continued.

He kept listing off all the symptoms he'd seen, all the way up to now when he decided to bring Shepard to the Citadel. During his explanation, Chakwas would mutter a 'Hmm' or an 'Uh-huh' or 'Keep going' or would even wave a hand, all the while writing on the paper. Not once did she glance up until she had finished her notes.

"So do you know what's wrong? Is she going to be okay?" Garrus asked nervously.

Chakwas set the notes down on the desk and rubbed her eyes. She had to be tired from work. Or maybe she knew what was wrong…and it wasn't good.

"I think I may have a diagnosis for. I can't be completely sure so it might be best if you bring..."

"Dr. Chakwas? I'm so sorry. We need you now! A patient's vitals are going critical!" A doctor outside the door interrupted her sentence.

"Oh God. I'm coming! Keep him stable as long as you can" Chakwas said hurriedly.

"Garrus I'm going to have to cut our meeting short. I'll call you tonight if I find the time" Chakwas.

"It's no problem. You have a life to save" Garrus said.

Before Chakwas left, she gripped Garrus' hand and shook it once, sternly and strong. Garrus looked into her eyes and could tell she was tired. Her eyes were bright pink and there were bags starting to form under her eyes from the lack of sleep. She released her grip and gave Garrus a small smile before unlocking the office door and jogging out down the hall. Garrus remained in the office, for what reason he didn't know. He was tempted to look at the notes still left open on the desk, but he knew better. If Chakwas didn't call, he'd call in the morning. He may have not gotten the answers he wanted just yet, but at least another person knew what was wrong and could figure out how to cure Shepard's situation.

* * *

The ride in the elevator back up to the apartment felt much longer this time, even though Garrus found himself deep in thought for most of the ride. Once he arrived on the floor of the apartment, he exited and walked down the hall. Coming up to the door, he hesitated briefly. He worried Shepard would take note of how long he was gone for. He'd either have to make up an excuse or tell the truth. As much as he hated doing both of those, Garrus decided it was best to say where he went. For all his luck, maybe Shepard was aware of her behaviour change as well as she would agree with him bringing her to the Citadel for help. With a quick inhale of breath, Garrus opened the door and was greeted with the sight of the bags still lying on the floor. His eyes darted to the window closest to the piano where, as he expected Shepard was still standing.

30 minutes. He'd been gone for 30 minutes and she hadn't done anything, as far as he could tell. She was still in front of that damn window, in the same position – arms folded across her chest. Garrus hadn't felt this worried since the war, when he was practically worrying himself to death over his family's safety. Garrus walked over to Shepard slowly, wringing his fingers together. Seeing Shepard like this was almost…creepy, but he'd never admit that. When he reached her, Garrus laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Shepard? Shepard, are you okay?" he asked.

She didn't answer or show any signs that she was aware of his presence. She just stared out the window, breathing steady and gently.

"Shepard" Garrus repeated.

Nothing again.

Garrus let go of her shoulder as a sigh escaped his mouth. He wasn't frustrated, but he was getting a tad upset. Why wouldn't Shepard reply? What was going through her mind? Suddenly, he heard her speak, but whatever she said was too quiet to be audible.

"Shepard? Did you say something?" Garrus asked, holding her shoulder again.

"What? Where am I?" Shepard said aloud.

"You're on the Citadel" Garrus told her, his voice delicate.

Shepard unfolded her arms and moved away from Garrus so quickly, it took him a moment to register that she was gone. He found her wandering around the bottom floor of the apartment. Her facial expression read confusion, like she didn't remember anything.

"The Citadel?" she spoke. "No not the Citadel"

Then she abruptly stopped and stared at the piano. Her eyes started scanning the room again and wrapped her arms around herself, hugging her waist. She shook her head violently a few times, repeating over and over. Garrus came close to her side but didn't touch her. He didn't know how she would react.

"The boy. I saw him. He died on Earth, I swear it. He haunted my dreams and then…and then he was there. On the Citadel! The Catalyst. He wanted me to make the choice. Oh the choices. All of them were…horrible…I didn't know what to do" Shepard rambled.

Garrus found himself dumbfounded. He had no clue what Shepard was talking about. She must've been having a flashback expect she was remembering it aloud, speaking it in fragmented detail. But whatever it was, it was bad and Garrus suddenly regretted telling her she was on the Citadel. That word triggered a memory that she didn't want.

She continued "Three choices. That's all. Maybe a fourth but I couldn't _dare _do that one. Three colours. Blue, Green, Red. Each different but all resulted the same. The…the Catalyst said they'd kill the Reapers. Why? Why me? I couldn't do this"

"Couldn't do what?" Garrus finally spoke.

"The Choice" she expressed. "I had to pick. Red. Red and fire and…and explosions. That's all I saw. Red and red and more red until there was nothing and I was alone, surrounded by cold, hard rock and covered in _red. So much red"_

It dawned on Garrus finally about what Shepard was remembering. The Reapers and when she destroyed them. When the Crucible fired, a red light cleansed the galaxy of them. Only Shepard was there when the Crucible fired; she was the one who had initiated it.

Then Shepard – who was still hugging herself – stopped. Garrus hoped it was over and a bit of relief fell upon him. But then Shepard started breathing heavy, laboured breaths. Her eyes widened. Her hands shot up and clutched her hair. She sunk to her knees and let out a shriek.

"_No! No make the pain stop_!" she cried. "_Make the red go away. So much, make it stop_"

Garrus was taken aback a bit by the scream but quickly regained himself. He got down next to her and pulled her into him. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held tight. Shepard continued to cry and say "Make the red stop". Garrus couldn't think of anything to say. He didn't dare console her with 'Everything is okay' because it wasn't.

"The red is gone Shepard" he tried instead. "Open your eyes. No more red. You're safe now"

At those words, she did, and stopped crying as well. She lifted her head from Garrus' chest and observed the room. Her cheeks shone in the light of the room from her tears. She sniffled softly, and then realized she was being held and looked into the eyes of her love. Garrus stroked her hair, in attempt to comfort her more.

"You're safe now" he repeated in a soothing voice.

Shepard burrowed her head into Garrus' chest once again. She shifted a bit in his grasp, but only because she was moving her arms so she could drape them around Garrus' neck.

"Don't leave me" Shepard whispered tearfully.

"Never" Garrus replied.

Garrus remained like that with Shepard for more than a few minutes, just holding her in comfort. He wished he could make that memory go away. Not only the one Shepard just experienced, but now he had a new memory and never wanted to see it again. It was heart wrenching to see Shepard shriek and cry. She'd barely cried at all during the war and seeing her do it now broke his heart.

Garrus decided to carry Shepard upstairs to the bedroom. He carefully laid her on the silken, white sheets like she was a delicate object. In her current state, she was.

"Get some rest okay. The ride here was long and you look tired" Garrus said.

Shepard nodded and rested her head on the oversized pillow. Garrus leaned down and kissed her cheek, lingering longer than he needed to. Just as he turned to leave, Shepard snatched his hand. He turned back to her and watched her bring his hand to her lips. She brushed his fingers with a gentle kiss and then let go, closing her eyes, a faint smile playing up the corners of her lips.

Garrus dimmed the lights to the room and slid the door to ajar. He released a breath that he'd been holding, then returned to the lower level. The bags hadn't been moved so Garrus moved them to the couch and would bring them upstairs once Shepard awoke.

Garrus took a seat near the fireplace. He activated his omni-tool and started to compose a message. He had to report this to Chakwas. Anything that happened he figured she could use and add to her notes so that the diagnosis was precise.

_It's Garrus. Shepard just experienced a memory of when the Crucible fired. May have also been an anxiety attack. Told her get some rest. Thought you should know about this so you could add it to your notes. Take care._

With that, he sent it off and leaned back in the chair. So much had just happened, and Garrus had only been on the Citadel for just under an hour. He was feeling confused and worried. As much as he had been wanting to know what was bothering Shepard, he had to wait.

Patience is a virtue, as people say. Now seemed like as good a time as any to start practicing.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The waiting game, Garrus decided, was not a fun game at all.

He'd lost track of how long he'd been sitting in the seat next to the fireplace after sending the message to Chakwas. An hour? Two hours? Four? It didn't matter to him. However long it would take for Chakwas to either message him back or call him, he would wait. He didn't care if it took all night and all the way into mid morning. A call with the answers he was looking for would satisfy him.

Garrus took at look at the time anyway, just out of curiosity. Citadel time read nine fifteen at night. Swiveling himself around so he faced the window, Garrus took notice of the fact that some of the neon boards that scattered the SilverSun strip had turned off, closed for the night. It wasn't much of a change though. The neon still blared into the apartment day in and day out. A reason why Shepard kept the blinds drawn. At the moment, the blinds were wide open. Garrus rose from his seat and walked over to the spot on the wall where the button was to drop the blinds. His eyes hurt just a little less after completing that task.

Checking the time again for no real reason, Garrus wondered if Shepard was awake. He put her upstairs in the bedroom to sleep and it had been a couple hours. She hadn't come down yet. Maybe she actually was asleep and wouldn't wake up until morning. Or maybe she was already awake and doing her stare at something for hours on end thing. To figure that out, Garrus climbed upstairs to check on her.

When he reached their bedroom, he heard the soft spray of the shower running. The door was still open ajar, just as he had left it. Pushing it open widen, Garrus stepped into the room. Shepard's clothes were strewn about on the bed. The sheets were a little wrinkled from where she had lain. The bathroom door was closed all the way but the water was running and Garrus could hear Shepard humming a sweet tune. She always did that when she showered. Garrus never bothered to ask why. It was a quality that he loved about her. He took a seat on the bed and waited for Shepard. He wanted to see if her mood had changed after getting some rest.

A couple of moments later, Garrus heard the tap click off. The water stopped running and Shepard stopped humming. He barely picked up the sound of a towel rustling across a body. Then the soft sound of footsteps followed by the door opening. Garrus looked up and met his gaze with Shepard's, who smiled the same smile he'd been seeing since the day he met her.

"Oh hey" she greeted softly.

"Feeling better?" Garrus asked.

Garrus suddenly wanted to take his words back. Did Shepard remember that she had a nervous breakdown? Obviously not, the confused look on her face was enough for Garrus to know. Quickly, he covered himself.

"You came up here to lie down because you weren't feeling good. Probably from the ride here" Garrus said.

Shepard took a moment to consider what he said, the nodded her head in agreement.

"Right. Yes, I'm feeling better. I was just showering then going to bed. You should join me" Shepard said.

"Of course I'm going to be joining you. I was just going to stay up a bit longer. I'm…uh…expecting a call" Garrus confessed.

"Please" Shepard said, fluttering her eyelashes.

This was definitely not Shepard. Well it was, but not her personality. Shepard would've inquired into why Garrus was expecting a call, especially from whom. Shepard also wouldn't bat her eyelashes. She wasn't girly or the kind who would…plead like that.

Garrus was about to try to convince her that the call was important, but Shepard convinced him first by dropping her white towel to the floor, exposing her nude self. Now that seemed _more_ like the Shepard he knew.

"How about now?" Shepard teased.

"Okay you win" Garrus gave in.

Shepard let out a soft laugh, then picked up her towel and returned it to the bathroom. Garrus started to undress himself as Shepard returned and put her clothes away. She slipped into her underwear before climbing under the cover next to Garrus. She activated her omni-tool and tapped a few keys. All the lights turned off. Darkness enveloped them. Shepard laid an arm across his waist after Garrus finished shifting around to find a comfortable spot on the bed.

"Goodnight" Shepard whispered sweetly.

"Goodnight" Garrus said with a sigh, and closed his eyes.

An blaring orange light roused Garrus from his sleep. At first, he didn't know what it was. His brain was still half-asleep. Bit by bit, he became more and more awake. Suddenly he knew what the orange light was. His omni-tool. Somebody must be calling him. Shepard had wrapped an arm around him when they fell asleep. She hadn't moved. Awkwardly, Garrus eased himself out of her grasp and darted into the hall to take the call. When he opened his omni-tool, the time read one thirty.

He tapped a key to open the holo vid-screen. He was greeted with an all too familiar face.

"Garrus. I apologize for contacting you so early in the morning, but I figured you'd want to hear this" Chakwas said apologetically.

"I don't mind at all. Please tell me you know what going on with Shepard" Garrus said.

"Yes and no" Chakwas admitted sorrowfully. "I received your message about Shepard having an anxiety attack. That helped me narrow it down but I'm still not completely sure"

"Just…tell me what you have so far" Garrus sighed, somewhat disappointed.

Chakwas took a breath. She closed her eyes for a couple of moments. Garrus could tell she was exhausted. If he squinted hard enough at the background, he knew Chakwas was calling from her office in the hospital. Even if she dimmed the lights in the office, it was obvious she hadn't left yet and probably wouldn't be for a while.

After a couple of moments, she reopened her eyes and brought her gaze back up to Garrus through the screen.

"Judging by my notes and my knowledge and what research I've done, I believe that Shepard might be…catatonic…or heading in that direction" Chakwas finally delivered.

"Explain to me what that is. I'm not very familiar with human illnesses" Garrus admitted.

"Oh, of course. When you mentioned that you would talk to her and she wouldn't answer, that is a sign – reaction to outside stimuli. The window staring, remaining in the same place for a couple of hours, again all signs of catatonia. The anxiety attack isn't' related though. That's why I'm not completely sure. Catatonia has many different kinds of diagnosis" Chakwas thoroughly explained.

"What do you suggest I do?" Garrus asked.

"I'm thinking you should bring Shepard in to see me. Not tomorrow, I'll call you when I have some spare time. So keep your days open please. Until then, I would keep record of everything that Shepard does. _Everything._ I should be able to see you within the next two or so days" Chakwas said.

"Simple enough. Do you want me to write this down for you or can I do it by memory?" Garrus asked.

Chakwas smiled and Garrus hear the faintest of a laugh "No, no. You can do it by memory if that's how you prefer it. Before I go, may I ask how Shepard is doing?"

"Honestly I don't know. I'm pretty confused here. After the anxiety attack, I put her upstairs to rest. I came up a couple of hours later and she seemed normal again, only she didn't remember the attack. I told her she wasn't feeling good and that she went to lie down" Garrus explained.

"Hmm" Chakwas pondered. "She may return to her normal self at brief times but it won't last long. I'm sorry to say that it's only going to go downhill from here until we get an exact diagnosis"

Garrus hung his head at her words. It was definitely going to be painful, watching the love of his life slowly go catatonic right in front of his eyes. And at the moment, there was nothing he could do.

"Garrus" Chakwas roused him from his thoughts.

"I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what this is like for you"

"Yeah…thanks. At least I know what's going on. Thanks for your help. I'll keep an eye out for your call" Garrus said.

"It's my pleasure Garrus. Take care and goodnight" Chakwas bid.

She gave him a sympathetic look, and then terminated the call. Garrus felt defeated. He leaned against the wall and clenched his fists together. Why was this happening to Shepard? What force was trying to rip them apart now?

_What happened up on the Citadel? _He thought.

_What did the war change in you?_

Not wanting this think about the dilemma, Garrus slipped back into the bedroom quietly. Shepard had always been a light sleeper. The gentlest sound in the night would wake her. Doing his best not to make a sound, Garrus pulled the covers back and crawled back into bed. Shepard had since rolled over; her back now facing him. This time, Garrus laid a hand around her waist, pulling her close to him.

His eyes drifted shut, but it took Garrus a while before he was finally pulled under into a restful sleep.

The day cycle returned to the Citadel once again. Outside, the artificial sky rotated from a night sky to a day sky with the usual fluffy, white clouds and bright shining sun. Of course that could only be seen from the presidium. To know morning had arrived at the SilverSun strip, some more neon signs would light up. And the lights in the apartment would turn on. Which was annoying, since Garrus was still in bed.

Groaning softly, he rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. He turned his head to the side, expecting to see Shepard lying next to him but he was surprised to be greeted with an empty bedside. Garrus sat up and shot glances around the bedroom. He had to assume Shepard had woken up before him. Once he found the incentive to move his body, Garrus rose from the bed and quickly slipped into his clothes. He strode over to the top of the stairs and viewed the lower floor from there. He spotted Shepard pretty quickly, sitting on the dark brown couches in her silk white sleep shirt made her stand out.

Garrus wondered what she was doing and was about to call out her name when he realized what she was doing. She was staring again. This time at the fireplace which constantly burned and always kept the apartment comfortably cozy. Chakwas was right. Every day, Shepard was going to keep slipping into her catatonic state. Garrus flared his mandibles into the turian equivalent of a frown. It really hurt him to see Shepard in this state.

"Shepard?" he called to her once reaching the bottom of the stairs.

She didn't answer, typical. In his mind, he urged her to say something. Anything. All he wanted was a damned miracle. Shepard had done so much for every species in the galaxy and this is what she gets in return. A state of total lethargy.

"Shepard" Garrus repeated.

Again, nothing.

He slid in next to her on the couch. Shepard paid no attention, as if she ignoring his presence. Technically she was but now, Garrus could blame it on her condition. He put a hand on her thigh and gave it a squeeze.

"Shepard. Say something, please" Garrus whispered.

Her head turned to the side, but her facial expression remained the same. It was eerie and Garrus found himself leaning back a bit.

"Is there something wrong?" Shepard said.

The way she spoke, Garrus was sure she sounded exactly like the miners on the asteroid when they were chasing leads on Leviathan. Slow and monotone. No emotion present in the voice. Staring ahead into…what? Nothingness, Garrus supposed. Could Leviathan be behind this? It was a farfetched idea and Garrus was probably way over thinking it, but it could be a possibility. He filed the thought away mentally, something to tell Chakwas.

"Wrong?" Garrus said. "Oh no, nothing is wrong. I was just curious. How long have you been up?"

"I…I don't know. I…I" Shepard stuttered slightly.

"It's alright" Garrus interrupted her. "As I said, just curious. If you can't remember it's okay"

Shepard seemed comforted by his words. Her head then slowly rolled back into its original position. Garrus shook her tenderly, not wanting to lose her just yet.

"Shepard" he said.

She did nothing and at that moment, Garrus gave up. He figured he'd let her continue to stare at the fireplace or whatever else she was staring at. He stood up from the couch and heaved a heavy sigh. Normally, Garrus would get up in the mornings and eat breakfast at the table with Shepard, talking about all sorts of things. But right now, he was in no mood for eating. Right now, he needed to clear his head.

So he headed to the door and left the apartment, moving at a fast pace. He locked the door behind him, just for good measure. And safety. Some air would help him. Even if it was recycled station air that made him feel stuffy, it was something.


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: I apologize, but updates will become a little slower in the next 2 weeks. I have some exams to prep for. I'll do my best to not leave you guys hanging though...so hang in there :)_

* * *

Chapter 4

Two days. It took two unnecessarily long and patient days before Chakwas finally called Garrus back. He couldn't complain though, she was busy with all the patients coming into Huerta. And not just war victims that returned with complications. People with any kind of injury were rushed to Huerta and that meant all the staff needed to be on their toes.

Garrus was in the middle of cleaning up the kitchen when he received the call. Shepard was upstairs. Her condition was getting worse. She hadn't eaten with Garrus. Her staring was getting more and more frequent. And Garrus was getting all the more worried. He stopped what he was doing and answered the call via his omni-tool.

"Garrus I apologize for taking so long. I've been quite busy" Chakwas sincerely apologized upon opening the call.

"I understand why. I've heard Huerta has a lot of patients lately" Garrus remarked.

"Yes we have" Chakwas solemnly spoke. "Anyway, let's get to the reason I called. How is Shepard? Has her condition changed?"

Garrus inhaled a quick, sharp breath before he spoke. "Her condition is getting worse as far as I can tell"

"Details" Chakwas shot back.

"That staring she does happens more and more frequent now. She's upstairs now, just sitting on the couch. Didn't even join me for dinner" Garrus explained.

"What's the longest time that she's remained staring?" Chakwas asked in a curious tone.

"It's hard to say really. She does that for hours sometimes. And she doesn't respond to me. I can say her name five times over to her and she still doesn't respond. I've never been this scared or worried. I _need _your help" His last words had desperation ringing throughout.

"Oh dear Lord" Chakwas' expression was deeply sympathetic. Garrus saw her eyes shimmer. Clearly she was on the verge of tears. If turians could cry, Garrus would be doing just that.

"Come to my office, now. Bring Shepard along with you. I…I need to get her diagnosis perfectly exact. Then we can start treating her and will bring her back. I promise you Garrus. She _will _come back" Chakwas said.

"I'll be there" Garrus simply replied. He ended the call without a goodbye.

He finished up in the kitchen swiftly but still careful enough so he didn't break anything. He took the stair steps two at time, reaching the upper level a tad faster. Down the hall and to the right is where he found Shepard. As far as Garrus could remember, this was the first time he came across her lying down on the couch. The only other time she did that was when she was sleeping.

But Shepard was far from being asleep.

Looking at her from this distance, you would never know she was suffering from catatonia. Then again, looking at her from any angle, you wouldn't be able to tell. That's the problem with emotional disorders; it's hard to tell if something is going on.

Garrus released a slow sigh then straightened himself. When he got close to Shepard, he could clearly see her eyes were wide open, blinking at a normal pace. Her blonde hair – which she had grown out significantly since the war ended – was embracing her shoulders in a messy heap. He crouched down in front of her and pulled some strands back behind her ears, just like she did during the war. Garrus wondered what was going on inside her head. What was she thinking? What was preventing her from reacting to his touch?

"Shepard? Can you hear me?" Garrus asked her.

_What makes her unable to respond?_

"Shepard" Garrus repeated.

He wished he knew how to snap his fingers. He'd seen Shepard do it thousands of times. He blamed evolution for giving turians a total of three fingers on each hand. What was wrong with five?

Garrus tried a different tactic. He reached out and firmly grabbed hold of Shepard's forearm. Sometimes, a touch was enough to bring her back into reality, even if she was a little bleary when speaking.

But the reaction that Garrus received this time was not at all what he was expecting. Shepard reacted violently to his touch by sitting upright rapidly and then letting out a startling cry. She didn't stop until Garrus let go. Shepard clutched her arm and whimpered, like he had hurt her.

Only he hadn't. His grip had been firm but not painfully firm. Garrus would die before _ever _hurting Shepard. She was his world and hurting her would always be out of the question.

"_Stay back!" _Shepard cried forcefully.

"Shepard. It's me, Garrus. I'm not going to hurt you" he consoled.

Shepard scrambled off the couch and held her arms out, backing away from his slowly. She had tears running down her cheeks and she looked scared – no she was scared. Of him. It dawned on Garrus that she must be having another anxiety attack. In a way, it was kind of good. This was something to tell Chakwas.

"Don't come any closer" Shepard warned. "I…don't…"

"Shepard. You gotta snap out of it" Garrus attempted to bring her back.

"I need more time. I don't know…what choice to make. Just…please" Shepard almost had a begging tone in her voice.

"You can do it. I know you can. Make the choice. I know you'll do what's right" Garrus played along with her.

"No" Shepard whispered. "The red. So much red. Make it stop…make…make it stop"

Shepard lowered herself on to the floor, next to a tree that Garrus remembered Samara using as a meditation area. He recalled finding her there the morning after the party Shepard threw after all the clone business had been taken care of. Garrus lowered himself next to her and looked into her eyes. She buried her face into her hands and then started to rock herself back and forth.

Then she reached out unexpectedly, grasping Garrus' hand. She rolled onto her knees, still holding his hand.

"Make the red stop Garrus. Please" her voice was laced with a pleading tone.

Garrus grabbed her gently. She didn't cry at his touch. Instead she accepted his touch, like she wanted it. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side.

"You're safe. The red will go away. I promise" Garrus comforted.

Garrus held her like that until she had recovered enough that he could take her to see Chakwas and they could get a final diagnosis on her condition.

* * *

The ride to the hospital was calm and quiet. Shepard remained in silence the whole time while Garrus focused on driving. Sometimes, Garrus' mind would wander, mostly about Shepard's anxiety attack. Somehow, they needed to get through to her, and figure out what this whole "choice" business was. The red Shepard had mentioned had to be the Crucible. But there was no way to know unless they penetrated Shepard's mind.

Garrus guided Shepard into the hospital, praying to the Spirits that the atmosphere around her wouldn't trigger memories of her recovery. To his luck, Chakwas was waiting for them in the main entrance of Huerta. She took notice of their presence immediately and beckoned them over with a wave of her hand. Garrus caught a glimpse of her smile before she turned to lead them down the hall. Even with Shepard's upsetting situation, Chakwas was happy to see her again.

Garrus found himself in the comfortable atmosphere of Chakwas' office. She had tidied it up since his last visit. The desk had been cleared of all papers. So was the chair. Probably filed away somewhere or moved to another room. Chakwas had even taken the liberty of placing two seats for Shepard and Garrus. When she motioned for them to take a seat, Garrus did. He had to pull Shepard a bit first before she too sat down.

"Where are we?" Shepard asked. It was the first words she spoke since leaving the apartment.

"We're at Huerta" Garrus informed her. "You remember Dr. Chakwas right? She's going to help us figure out what's wrong"

After Garrus finished explaining, Chakwas started to speak. "I highly doubt she's forgotten me. Her condition doesn't affect memory" she said to Garrus. To Shepard she said "Commander. I'm so glad to see you again. How have you been doing?"

Shepard – who was staring at her hands which rested in her lap – brought her eyes up to meet Chakwas' eyes. For a moment, she said no words at all. She looked at her with a blank stare that made Garrus wonder if Shepard actually had forgotten who Chakwas was. But before he could try and remind her, Shepard murmured a name.

"Karin" she murmured softly.

Chakwas spread her arms wide, a friendly gesture. "The one and only"

Shepard immediately lit up, a smile stretching across her face. She was genuinely happy, and Garrus felt a wave of relief wash over. Of course Shepard could never forget the doctor of the Normandy. Not after everything they'd been through.

"Now Shepard. I'm just going to take Garrus outside for a moment. Please, make yourself comfortable. I promise we won't be long" Chakwas finished with a smile.

Shepard responded with a quick nod of her head. Chakwas hustled Garrus out of the office and into the hallway. Chakwas deemed the hallway safe to speak once her office door slid shut.

"Has anything happened since I last spoke to you? It's crucial in order to finalize her condition" Chakwas spoke in a rough whisper.

"Her condition is worsening, I can tell you that. I also had this thought. It's probably crazy and not related at all to what's happening to her, but…I couldn't help wondering" Garrus said.

"Shoot" Chakwas said eagerly.

"A couple of days ago, I woke up to find Shepard sitting downstairs on the couch. She spoke in her usual lethargy voice. Slow and monotone. That's when the thought hit me. She sounded exactly like those indoctrination miners on that asteroid, the one we investigated to find clues on…" Garrus hesitated briefly "Leviathan"

Chakwas furrowed her brows again, a sign Garrus took as in deep thought. She crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot slightly. All Garrus could do was stand there, awkwardly while Chakwas reflected.

At long last, Chakwas shook herself from her hypothesise and came back to reality.

"It's definitely an inspired thought Garrus but I don't think that's the case. Leviathan needs those artifacts to reach out to people. And even if there so happened to be another artifact hidden somewhere in the depths of the Citadel, why would it target Shepard?"

"Revenge maybe? She found Leviathan and she told me it wasn't…happy to say the least. The Reapers also followed us when we crashed on Leviathan's planet" Garrus proposed.

"Hmm, yes revenge seems the most logical. The Reapers are forever gone now, so Leviathan should have no worries about them. Inspired as I said, but I'm still not convinced. She doesn't withhold all the symptoms" Chakwas spoke thoughtfully.

"I agree. As I said, crazy but it appeared possible in some way" Garrus said.

"Anything else?" Chakwas asked.

"Before we left for the hospital, Shepard experienced another anxiety attack" Garrus informed.

"How bad?"

"I'd say worse. She reacted violently when I touched her, like I'd hurt her. But I could _never _do that" Garrus said

"That's a sign of catatonia, patients react to simple touches like being crushed by a steam-roller" Chakwas said.

Garrus gave her a puzzled look "Crushed by a what?"

"Never mind that. Anything else?"

"Like her last anxiety attack, she started talking out loud, about a red light and making a choice of some sort. And the Catalyst. I don't know what that has to do with anything" Garrus explained.

"Sounds like when the Crucible fired. Shepard was the only one there right? She had told the news Anderson had passed on before he could see the destruction" Chakwas wondered.

"That's the only thing that makes sense really. What other red light could it be?" Garrus pointed out.

"Agreed. Come, come. Let's get back inside my office. We've been out here longer than I wanted to" Chakwas said as she brushed by Garrus.

Back in the quiet office, Shepard was still seated prettily on the chair. Prettily. Garrus never thought he'd see Shepard sitting like that. She was gazing out the window, looking at the large river that ran through the presidium. Garrus sighed quietly. It was obvious she had slipped out of reality again.

Chakwas, on the other hand had pulled out a datapad and was vigorously tapping away, probably searching old notes for something that fit Shepard's state. Garrus took the seat next to Shepard and remained quiet until Chakwas had found what she needed.

"I think I have the diagnosis, Garrus. It's worse than what she already has but better than other conditions" Chakwas spoke with a hint of sadness laced in her words.

Garrus took a breath, preparing himself for the news he had wanted to know for so long, but also didn't want to hear a single word. "Tell me"

"Shepard has catatonic depression. The anxiety attacks, the silence. Those are symptoms. I'm thinking whatever Shepard saw up there on the Citadel, has come back and scarred her" at that moment, Chakwas glanced towards Shepard and frowned.

"She's only going to go downhill from here, I'm afraid"

Garrus nodded, fully understanding what his love was slowly being taken over by.

"Is there a treatment? Can you cure her?" Garrus asked.

"Catatonic depression is an emotional disorder. There aren't a lot of medications besides anti-depressants or placebos. The best way to treat something like that would be therapy, but let me do some work research on that. I will call you soon, I promise" Chakwas explained.

"I understand. Thank you for finalizing her condition. It makes me feel better in some ways, but worse in others" Garrus said, his voice sombre.

"It's my pleasure Garrus. We'll figure this out, don't you fret. The Shepard we know is just hiding behind a lot of sadness and regret and guilt. We just need to break through this barrier of emotion, and she'll be back" Chakwas tried to sound optimistic.

Garrus nodded and shook her hand before leaving. Shepard was able to get up and walk out by herself, but she wasn't all there. She looked lost, tired and confused. Garrus swore he heard start to mumble 'red light' again.

Garrus picked up his pace, pulling Shepard along with him. The last thing he needed was another anxiety attack in a public place.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The only thing that had been on Garrus' mind for the last week was hearing from Chakwas. He was getting agitated and worried and most of all, impatient. Chakwas had promised him that she would call him within the next couple of days. But days dragged on and nothing happened. Then those days turned in a week and still no call. Shepard's condition had only worsened since their visit to the Citadel. She barely moved, just sat on the couch downstairs in front of the fireplace. Every day, she slipped further and further into her depression. Sometimes, Garrus would find her crying and when he asked what about, she wouldn't know. Then she'd just return to her world of staring. She didn't eat much. On a couple of occasions, Garrus found Shepard drinking tea. She must have come back into reality long enough to get up and make it, but he'd never seen her do that. It was almost like the cup appeared in her hands out of thin air.

Since the catatonia began, Garrus became more and more lonely each day. Shepard was his way of brightening the day. Her warm smile, her delicate blue eyes, the sound of her voice. Pretty much everything about her, uplifted him in ways only she knew how to. But now that she had sunk into this catatonic depression - for what reason he was still trying to figure out – she didn't talk to him, she didn't smile and her eyes were dull now, looking exhausted and red from her endless hours of…staring.

Therapy. That word had been on Garrus' mind too. When Chakwas mentioned it as a possible treatment, he couldn't help wondering if it would work. It seemed logical. The therapy would help with the depression. But what about the catatonia? He still didn't know how to treat that. If only Chakwas would call him back. He was worried about the therapy though – if he chose to do it. Doing therapy would bring back all of her memories. She'd probably experience another anxiety attack during the secession. But the goal would be to tell Shepard to let go of everything and to tell her everything is fine now and she has nothing, absolutely nothing to worry about. Garrus was convinced all her anxiety attacks were about the Crucible and when it fired. He still didn't know what the Catalyst had to do with anything – it was the Citadel. And this choice too. Did Shepard have more than one option? Garrus would never get the answers to these questions until he did something about her condition.

Therapy was definitely among one of his choices for treating Shepard, but he wanted to see what Chakwas had come up with. If she had come up with anything. She was a doctor. Garrus couldn't blame her for delaying to call him. She was busy with patients. But she promised, and breaking a promise doesn't help you when it comes to reliability.

But Garrus held his ground. He'd play the waiting game all night if he had to. He'd play it all day too. No matter how much he despised the game, he'd play it.

Evening came and Garrus ate alone at the table again. Shepard had gone upstairs by herself. It was…disturbing to watch her walk. She stood up and turned so slowly, Garrus found anticipation rising up in him. Her expression was blank and hollow and almost creepy in some ways. Like one of those paranormal horror movies that he remembered watching with Shepard back when everything was fine. The way Shepard walked was like one of those possessed people, as much as Garrus hated to admit that to himself. He watched her trudge up the stairs and disappear down the hallway. Later, after he finished cleaning up in the kitchen, he went searching for her. She was in the bedroom, lying on the bed and appeared to be in the fetal position. Or maybe she was just hugging her knees. Shepard was facing the door so Garrus could see her eyes were closed. At least she was sleeping, even though her position seemed strange.

Upon returning downstairs, Garrus received a miracle. His omni-tool lit up. Immediately he knew who it was. He connected the call to the vid screen downstairs. He was glad Shepard was upstairs. He was pretty sure she never really listened anyway because she was always staring off into dreamland. With the call hooked up, the screen broadcasted a fuzzy screen for a few moments before materializing the face of Dr. Chakwas. She smiled at Garrus, but he could tell she was running on fumes.

"Garrus I need to apologize" she started off. "I don't know if you heard but there was an accident on the Citadel. Some repairs went awry and at least a couple dozen people were severely injured. I've been practically living in the hospital for the past week. It's insanely busy over here"

"I didn't know. I'm…sorry to hear that. So…uh I hate to jump in but do you have any news about treatment? What can we do? Is Shepard's condition curable? Will it come back?" Garrus sputtered out questions.

On the screen, Chakwas waved a hand, as if the questions were an annoying insect.

"I must give you my sincerest apologizes Garrus. I…can no longer help you. Things are too busy and I can't find the time in my day to look up possible treatments. I'm sorry but…" she trailed off, unable to find the words to show how sorry she was.

So she ended the call right there. The screen went fuzzy and red letters appeared across the disorienting fuzz. _Call terminated from other user_ it read. Garrus ended the call from his omni-tool. He felt…defeated suddenly. Maybe a bit betrayed. Chakwas was Shepard's friend. How could she turn her back on Shepard and go help some other civilians? It was betrayal through Garrus' eyes.

His betrayal quickly evolved into anger. He balled his fists together and could feel his talons dig into the palms of his hands. He acted without thinking, and grabbed a bar stool, hurling it at the window. It made a clanging noise and crashed to the floor. The glass remained perfectly unscathed. Unbreakable glass no doubt. Hell, it was probably bulletproof too. Garrus' anger still lingered though. Shooting something with his rifle would rid him of all this anger. But he left all his snipers and assault rifles at home, the beach home. The Armax simulator down on the SilverSun strip was still undergoing repairs.

So he did the next best thing to blow off steam. The Silver Coast. Garrus hated drowning his worries and anger in alcohol, but right now he could care less. He stormed out of the apartment before his mind started to change his plans.

* * *

The one downside to drinking was waking up in the morning with a pounding headache. Garrus didn't have much to drink last night, but he did drift towards the harder liquor. He realized now that was a mistake. He came home tipsy and he remembered his vision was clouded. He slept in the downstairs bedroom because taking the stairs drunk would most likely result in injury.

Garrus' night of drinking away his anger lead to a morning of guilt and regret. What he did last night would have been his first choice if he was younger. But he wasn't young anymore. He was an adult. He had responsibilities. Responsibilities like finding a solution to your girlfriend's catatonic depression. With Chakwas out of the game, Garrus was out of luck. He didn't know who else to contact. Dr. Michel worked at Huerta as well but he didn't want to ask for her help. Not after finally figuring she liked him. All this medical business made Garrus think of Mordin. Mordin would have been happy to help. He would work day in and day out to find a cure for Shepard. Hell, if he was still alive, Shepard would probably be cured by now. Garrus sighed and chuckled lightly, reminiscing about the crazy, fast-talking salarian and his love for science. He was a nice guy. Shame of what happened to him on Tuchanka.

Shaking off his thoughts, Garrus rose from the bed and walked out into the kitchen. He was startled to see a person standing by the window. Garrus calmed himself when he realized it was Shepard, doing her daily staring, again. She was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday – a long-sleeved red dress. Since the war ended, Shepard had grown very fond of dresses. Embracing her inner 'girly-girl' as Joker had described once.

Garrus wasn't really sure why he was in the kitchen; he didn't have much of an appetite. He was still a little hazy from drinking and decided to go take a shower. That usually helped him wake up and regain his focus. Just as he was about to turn though, a sweet melody stopped him. He brought his eyes back up to where Shepard had been standing. She was no longer staring out the window. Instead, she was playing the piano. It took Garrus a moment to recognize the song. It was the calming, sweet swaying song that Liara had taught Shepard. Garrus remembered when Shepard played it for him. She had mastered the song quite quickly, and it was always a joy to listen to. Liara. _Liara_. Of course! Why didn't he think of her before? Liara could help with Shepard. She was still the Shadow Broker. She had access to all sorts of information. Information that would have the answer to curing Shepard's catatonia. Without a doubt in his mind, Garrus knew Liara would always be willing to help. He knew she could give up time as being the Shadow Broker and help out. Excitement was flowing through Garrus. He might have just found the solution to aiding Shepard.

Garrus opened his omni-tool and started to compose a message to the asari. He wondered how she'd react, getting a message from him so suddenly after 2 years of no contact. To this day he still felt some regret. He and Shepard ran away from everybody without a second glance. Now he was asking her to help him? Spirits, Garrus hoped she wouldn't be too upset. He tried his best to make the message heart-felt – though he wasn't succeeding at that – while hiding as much worry about Shepard as he could. Once he finished writing it out, he looked it over a few times to make sure everything was good and the way he wanted it.

_Liara,_

_Well this might seem a little strange, receiving a message from me 2 years later. I want to apologize about running off like that. Not just from you but from everybody else. Shepard and I just needed a break, you know. From everything. I'm sending you this message for a reason though. It's…important. Something has happened to Shepard. Chakwas was helping us out but she overwhelmed at the hospital and can't now. So I need you, Shadow Broker. I'm on the Citadel now with Shepard in her apartment on the SilverSun. If we can set up a meeting, I'll tell you everything I know and what I'll need from you._

_Garrus_

Garrus turned away from his omni-tool and closed his eyes. He sent it without looking. He had this feeling of awkwardness all over him. Maybe some nervousness too. It just felt odd sending a message to her, after 2 years. Their relationship with everyone will have taken a beating because they ran away to paradise. Even if they had good reason to. Shepard had stopped playing the piano. Garrus didn't know when, he was too caught up in his message to Liara. She had resumed her staring out the window again. Garrus stalked off to the bathroom upstairs for that shower. The hazy feeling was still present and he felt all stuffed up. The hot water would help relieve that.

Following his shower, Garrus changed into clean clothes. He was feeling better and more alert than he was when he woke up this morning. The bed upstairs where Shepard has spent the night wasn't too messy. The top comforter was a little crinkled so Garrus just smoothed it out. Then he remembered the bed where he had slept was in a heap still. Might as well tidy up and make the apartment look nice. If Liara did message him back and wanted to meet here, he wanted the place to look presentable to the eyes. But when he returned to the bottom level again, he saw that Shepard was nowhere in sight. She wasn't at the window or on the couch. He checked the kitchen. No Shepard. He peered into the bathroom. Nobody. Was she upstairs? It was possible she could have when he was showering. So Garrus darted upstairs again and snooped around. She wasn't there. Now panic was starting to rise up in him. What if she _left_ the apartment? She had been staring out the window at…who knows what. If something caught her eye, she could've left and wandered out into the streets. He had to go and get her before something happened. He didn't want her condition leaked out onto the news and then all over the damned galaxy. For as long as he could, Garrus wanted to keep this hushed.

He stormed downstairs and made a beeline for the apartment door. He had no idea where to start looking for Shepard. All he wanted was to get her home another problem started. As he neared the door though, he heard a sound. Garrus hadn't heard this kind of sound before so he stopped and listened, hoping to hear it again. He did. It was muffled though so he couldn't pin point what it was. But he knew where it was coming from. The last room he didn't check. The room with the poker table and where Shepard's private terminal was. The nearer he drew to the room, the clearer the muffled noise became. Eventually he realized what the sound was. It was a soft wailing, and the voice belonged to Shepard. He sighed, relieved that she hadn't left the apartment. He found Shepard leaning against a desk, hugging her knees and burying her face into her knees. She was crying and her wails were muffled because he faced was hidden. In front of her feet was a picture frame. Garrus bent over and grasped it gently in his hands.

Thane. That's why she was crying. She must have wandered around the apartment and then she saw this picture. The memories she had with Thane before he died must have come flooding back to her and she broke. Garrus placed the picture back on the desk, and then sat down on the floor next to his love. He put a strong arm around her waist and pulled her close. When he touched her, Shepard looked up. Her eyes were painfully red, a sign that she had cried for a while. Garrus reached up and stroked her hair which was a little flat and dirty. She hadn't showered in a while, but that didn't matter right now.

"He's in a better place Shepard. You know that" Garrus offered in attempt to comfort her.

"I…I…I just miss…miss him so much" Shepard stuttered through her tears.

"We all do. But wherever he is right now, he's keeping an eye on us. And one day, we'll see him again" Garrus whispered.

Shepard stayed silent. She kept crying, she just didn't respond to what he said. Garrus resumed his usual routine when she broke down like this. Keep her close, stroke her hair and sometimes rock her back and forth like she was an infant again. It would calm her down after some time.

"I'm going to get you help" Garrus whispered into her hair. "When Liara – if Liara replies to my message, help will be right around the corner and before you know it, you'll be you again"

Garrus wasn't sure if it was his imagination or not, but he was certain he heard Shepard mumble an almost an inaudible "thank you".


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

After comforting Shepard, Garrus moved her to the couch out over by the piano. She had fallen asleep. Garrus had seen her do that on multiple occasions since her condition came up. She just cried so much she eventually exhausted herself and then passed out for a few hours. And watching her do that pained Garrus to his very core. Her emotional pain was more excruciating than her physical pain…if there was any physical pain.

As soon as Garrus was sure Shepard was asleep, he left the apartment. Of course he locked the door behind him. He had already scared himself before thinking that Shepard had left the apartment. He had no intention to make that a reality. On the SilverSun strip, Garrus didn't go to the bar, or to the Armax which had recently reopened. He didn't go to any attraction on the strip. Instead, he got in the car and drove off, headed to the presidium. Even if most of the presidium was artificial and meant to give off that false sense of peace, Garrus always liked to escape to the presidium when he had worked at C-Sec. He was always able to regain his composure and find some tranquility there.

Now Garrus didn't park at any random spot on the presidium. No, he would never do that. He parked on the one spot that meant the most to him. The top of the presidium was his place. The same place he took Shepard 2 years ago. It was the same place they committed to their relationship and the same place Garrus proved he was a better shot than her. In the back of his mind, Garrus knew he was breaking 137 regulations. But right now, he could care less about the damned regulations.

The traffic wasn't as busy today. It was much lighter than usual so the noise was reduced significantly. The artificial sun that mimicked the time on the Citadel was starting to dip low which meant the sky would start to change colours to match a night sky. Fake stars would emerge on the strip of fake sky and the fake, fluffy clouds would dissipate. But even through all the fake, Garrus still found the peace he wanted, and he stayed up on the illegal part of the presidium for a while, listening to the soft whir of the traffic and watching the artificial sun set in the distance.

* * *

_The only thing that made leaving Earth bearable was knowing you were out there somewhere._

_I felt the same way. The worst part about the galaxy going to hell was never getting to see you again._

_Well here I am, exactly where I want to be…_

_I love you, Garrus Vakarian._

* * *

Garrus felt his heart sink upon remembering the words Shepard had said to him and the words he had said to her. That memory was always a happy one. Garrus remembered looking back on that moment a few times during the war. Now the memory made him…sad and upset. He missed Shepard, the Shepard he always knew before the catatonic depression. He knew she was still there. He just needed to break the barrier of depression and guilt and whatever else was weighing on her. Illuminating his omni-tool, Garrus took a look at the time. It was late and he didn't want to leave Shepard alone for long. So he climbed back into the car and started it. That's when his omni-tool vibrated, an indicator that he had a new message. He flipped the screen open. The sender was unknown. Even the location of where the message had been sent from was classified. Strange, but Garrus chose to read it anyway. It was brief but held enough information about who it was.

_Garrus,_

_Nice to hear from you. No hard feelings about running off. I completely understood why. Come meet on the presidium, near and around Apollo's. We'll talk about S there._

_SB_

SB. No doubt that meant Shadow Broker which meant this was Liara. S probably meant Shepard. He hoped Liara wasn't in any trouble right now. Usually, she wasn't this secretive in her messages. But he couldn't worry about that now. Liara was offering help and Garrus was in need of help. Good thing he wasn't far from the presidium. He erased the message and lifted off. He merged up with the overhead traffic and sped off in the direction of Apollo's.

Garrus had been waiting for about five minutes already and he hadn't seen Liara yet. She said near and around Apollo's which wasn't all that clear to Garrus. He chose a spot near that was close to the café but also held some distance from it too. He hoped Liara would still be able to recognize him. She'd rarely seen him in civilian clothes, just his silvery blue armor. Garrus sweeped his eyes across the presidium. The whole area was in pretty good shape. With the coup that hit this area first, and then the Crucible firing, the presidium was still holding up and if Garrus didn't know better, he would have never guessed this place had once been a total mess.

"This place cleans up nicely, doesn't it" a soft, melodic voice spoke behind Garrus.

He turned in the direction it came from. His eyes fell upon a soft blue coloured asari who smiled brightly at him. She wore a delicate green coloured dress and clutched a few datapads in her hands.

"Liara" Garrus greeted.

"Garrus. It's so good to see you again" Liara spoke happily.

The two shook hands in greeting before setting off to a free table. There they would discuss Shepard's situation. Liara sprawled out her datapads on the table. She picked up one and started flipped through some of its contents. Garrus couldn't help but laugh softly. Being the Shadow Broker required Liara to be constantly working. Fortunately, she loved working.

"What?" Liara asked without looking up from her data pad.

"It's you. Still dedicated to be the Shadow Broker, huh. Have you even taken a break since the war ended?" Garrus inquired.

"Sort of. I needed to do my part. As the Shadow Broker I helped the asari rebuild Thessia. I also supplied help to Earth, Palaven, Sur'Kesh, Tuchanka, you name it" Liara looked up at Garrus briefly. "This is an important job, one that I love. I won't give up on it until the day somebody comes to hunt me down"

"But even then, you'd fight them. Admit it T'soni, this job is your life" Garrus said.

"You may be right" Liara smiled.

After a couple more minutes of patiently waiting while Liara surveyed her datapads, she was finally ready to hear all about Shepard and her diagnosis.

"Alright. Sorry about all that. I'm ready now. Bring me up to speed on Shepard" Liara said.

"Get comfortable" Garrus informed her. "I have quite a long story to tell you"

Over the next hour, Garrus brought Liara up to speed on everything that had happened to Shepard so far. He began with when he first noticed that Shepard was changing. The calmer moods, the way she spoke, slow and somewhat disconnected. He explained to Liara about the move to the Citadel a couple of weeks ago so he could get some professional help. Garrus went into detail about Shepard's staring and how she did nothing but that. She rarely ate anymore, she didn't talk to Garrus. Just stared and slept occasionally. He recalled her anxiety attacks about the Catalyst and the red light and the 'choice'. Liara agreed with Garrus about the red light being the Crucible, but she too was confused about the 'choice' and the Catalyst.

Garrus then dived in to the diagnosis part with Dr. Chakwas. He provided her with facts about the condition – Catatonic Depression. Garrus said the anxiety attacks were related to the depression part and the staring and lack of movement was related to the catatonia. Garrus said it was like Shepard's body was there, but her mind wasn't. That's why they needed to infiltrate her mind and get her to forget or let go whatever it was that was causing this condition.

"So that brings us to last night when Chakwas informed me she could no longer offer her aide. That's when I messaged you. You're the Shadow Broker, you have loads of intel and access to intel that could help Shepard immeasurably" Garrus concluded.

Liara continued to tap on her datapad, finishing up some last-minute notes. She set it down on the table after and folded her hands into her lap. Her facial expression told Garrus that she was thinking about everything he had just told her.

"Wow. I…don't know what to say. This is a lot of information to take in. I…can't believe this is happening to her" Liara spoke gently.

"Yeah, that's what I've said as well. Of all the people in the world, whatever Gods exist up there just had to give Shepard more problems" Garrus said, frustrated.

"Shepard had remarkable emotional strength during the war. I never saw her break once. Now that's its over though, she's had time to reflect on everything that's happened. It's possible the memories of the war are the cause of all this" Liara offered.

"Hmm, yeah. You may be right about that. I've thought about that in the past. The war finally took a toll on her and just…" Garrus trailed off.

"Broke her?" Liara suggested.

"More like destroyed her" Garrus finished.

Liara reached out and wrapped her fingers around Garrus' hand. He didn't squeeze back like Liara was doing. He viewed her soft blue hand coiled around his three fingers. It brought memories back to him, of when Shepard held his hand like that. He shuddered a bit, not enough for Liara to notice though.

"I'm so sorry Garrus. This is cruel…this condition that has happened to Shepard. Old memories shouldn't have the power to take away your love" Liara sounded woeful.

"Too bad that it can. That's why I need you Liara. Tell me you can help" Garrus claimed with desperation.

Liara released his hand and displayed a small smile on her face. She fluttered her eyes a few times and then wiped them quickly with a hand. A situation like this would make it easy for Liara to cry a little.

"Of course I can help. No matter what. I'll just need to stay with you at the apartment, so I can see Shepard for myself. I can do all my work from there" Liara said.

"Really? You won't need to set up any weird alien technology? No screens or monitors, stuff like that? And what about your ship? Who's watching that?" Garrus found himself asking multiple questions.

"No, none of that. As for my ship, Feron is my...second in command you could say. He's agreed to watch over all my reports from my agents" Liara explained.

"What, did you train him or something?" Garrus wondered.

"In a sense. He knew most himself. I left Glyph with him too for when he runs into any trouble. _If _there's any trouble" Liara said.

"Alright T'soni, you can stay. It's not like we have a shortage of rooms" Garrus remarked.

Liara laughed softly "No you don't. So, shall we go?"

"This way" Garrus advised, leading Liara back to the car.

* * *

Liara let out a sigh upon entering the apartment again. She surveyed the place with wide eyes and a signature smile. Garrus entered in after her.

"It looks just like how I remember it. I've missed this home" Liara reminisced.

Her eyes fell upon the piano. Garrus took noticed and smiled himself.

"You know, she's played that song you taught her" Garrus said.

"Really?" Liara said.

Garrus nodded "Many times. It's a beautiful song and every time she played it, I had to stop whatever I was doing and listen to her play"

Liara smiled at Garrus' comment. "I enjoyed teaching her that song. Every time she played it for me, she improved. I wish I could hear her play it now"

Garrus touched Liara's shoulder. She peered up at him with teary eyes.

"You'll hear her play it again one day. With your help, we'll figure this out" Garrus comforted.

Liara nodded, looking somewhat convinced. "Can I see Shepard?"

"Sure. I just need to find her first. Before I left, I laid her on the couch" Garrus gestured at the couch behind him.

"Maybe she went upstairs" Liara suggested.

"Perhaps. I'll look upstairs, you look down here. Call me if you find her" Garrus said.

Liara ventured off down the hall while Garrus headed to the upper level. He checked all the spare rooms first, leaving his and Shepard's room last. He walked in and found Shepard sitting on the bed, staring staright ahead at the vid screen. Playing on it was a video that Thane had left her back when she was in lock-down. Her cheeks were stained with dried tears and fresh ones were about to surface.

Garrus backed out of the room and returned to the top of the stairs.

"Liara" he called out. "I found her. She's upstairs in our room"


	7. Chapter 7

_AN: Sorry for the slow updates on this story. I needed some thinking time. Writer's block sucks._

* * *

Chapter 7

Liara emerged from a hallway down on the lower level. She peered up at Garrus from her position.

"Where? Where is she?" Liara asked him.

"In the bedroom. Follow me" Garrus waved a hand.

Liara nodded her head while jogging up the stairs. She held the skirt of her dress though to prevent herself from tripping. Once she was on Garrus' level, he led her to the bedroom where Shepard was replaying the videos that Thane had left her.

"Go ahead and talk with her. I'll wait out here" Garrus whispered to Liara.

Liara smiled a bit and then entered the room. The vid screen in front of Shepard was fuzzy, which indicated that the video had ended. Liara flicked it off before trying to grab Shepard's attention. Garrus remained just outside the door, watching the scene intently. He planned to leave them in privacy soon, but he just wanted to be sure Shepard wouldn't have some freak anxiety attack when Liara started to speak.

"Shepard? Shepard can you hear me?" Liara asked with a gentle voice.

Shepard brought her head up slowly, looking straight ahead at the teal asari in front of her. Her eyes scouted over Liara a couple times before she spoke in a voice that was just above a whisper.

"Liara. What brings you here?" Shepard spoke slowly as well.

"To see you of course" Liara smiled brightly at her friend. "I've missed you"

At that moment, Shepard rose to her feet and was in Liara's face in less than three steps. Garrus took notice of Liara's surprised expression and saw her take a tiny step back. Then suddenly, Shepard had her arms wrapped tightly around the asari, squishing her slightly. Liara attempted to return the hug, but her arms were caught in Shepard's friendly squeeze. She settled for just standing awkwardly until Shepard released her.

"I've missed you too Liara. It's good to see you again" Shepard said happily.

Garrus left as soon as Shepard and Liara sat down on the bed. Liara was cradling one of Shepard's hands in hers and she talked like a mother would to a child after a nightmare, comforting and assuring. Garrus chose to wait over by the couches just outside their bedroom. He took a seat, resting his arms across the top of the couch. He figured Liara would be chatting with Shepard for a while. She needed to see for herself how much Shepard had changed over the past 2 years. At least Shepard was happy to see Liara again. That always made Garrus happy as well, to see his love react like her normal self, even if it was just for a bit.

Liara exited the bedroom after about 15 minutes. Garrus waved her over to sit next to him. When she was close enough to him, Garrus saw her eyes looked a little pink and glossy, like she'd had been crying. As Liara sat next to Garrus, she wiped her eyes with the tips of her fingers.

"Are you okay?" Garrus asked as he laid a hand on her shoulder.

Liara nodded and uncovered her eyes. The small amount of makeup she had put on had been smudged greatly. Now she looked as if she hadn't slept in days.

"I'm…no I'm not okay. I was talking with her and then…part way through our talk she just zoned out and wouldn't reply to me. I can clearly see that her catatonia is only worsening" Liara wiped her eyes again.

"It is getting worse. That's why I came to the Citadel: For help. And that's what I need from you as well. Together we can figure this out" Garrus said.

"Of course. I…I just need to gather myself. Tomorrow morning I'll begin looking up ways to treat her condition" Liara spoke softly.

Garrus nodded in understanding. He let go of her shoulder and let Liara return to her guest room downstairs to collect herself. Meanwhile, Garrus checked in on Shepard. She was still sitting on the bed, staring ahead at the screen but most likely, Shepard didn't know that. Garrus took a breath and decided to give another shot at talking to her. He walked in without trying to be quiet or disturbing. He entered the room like any other person would enter a room. He slid himself next to Shepard.

"Shepard? Shepard are you…" he stopped himself there. Garrus knew by now that Shepard wasn't alright. He had to stop asking her that question.

"Shepard can you hear me?" Garrus tried instead.

Surprisingly, Shepard responded to him. He didn't have to repeat himself. She stared at him creepily though, eyes unblinking and wider than normal.

"Garrus" she spoke. "Where did Liara go?"

"Liara is in her bedroom downstairs Shepard" Garrus informed.

"I want to see to her" Shepard's voice sounded airy.

"Uh…I don't think that's a good idea" Garrus told her. "She's not feeling well. Why don't you have a shower or something? After that you can see her again"

"Oh. Okay" a confused look crossed Shepard's face, but she didn't question Garrus. She rose up from the bed and swayed into the bathroom. She didn't close the door however, so once Garrus heard the soft trickle of water he closed the door for her. Leaving the bedroom, he returned to the lower level to check in on Liara. He found her in the guest room he had assigned her. Garrus was about to enter, but stopped when he heard her talking. She must be calling somebody.

As much as he hated eavesdropping, Garrus couldn't help himself. He listened in discreetly.

"I don't know how long I'll be staying here. A couple of weeks, possibly a month. I can't be sure now. I want to be absolutely certain that Shepard's condition has been eradicated before I come back. You know how to play Shadow Broker when I'm gone. Just don't do anything I wouldn't do. I miss you. Take care, Feron"

Liara finished speaking into her omni-tool. Garrus backed away from the door. She was leaving a voice message. Feron must be taking over the role as Shadow Broker while Liara stays here. At least it's somebody she knows and trusts. Leaning back into her room, Liara had shifted on her bed. She became aware of Garrus and smiled weakly up at him.

"Come in. I was just sending Feron a message before I go to bed" Liara said.

As Garrus walked up to her, she added "But it seems you already know that"

Garrus flared his mandibles in surprise and suddenly felt embarrassed and accused.

"So either you can read minds or you heard me even though I was discreet" Garrus joked.

"No I can't read minds. But I heard you. You've been out of the military too long Garrus. You're version of being 'discreet' is far from it" Liara quipped.

"Yeah, yeah laugh it up. If I had known civilian life was this laid-back I would have stayed in the military. But when you've helped save the galaxy three times already, taking a break always seems like a great idea" Garrus continued joking.

Liara gave a genuine chuckle at the humoristic conversation. Then she frowned a bit, toiling with the multiple datapads in front of her. Garrus felt the humor mood disappear as well and soon enough he found himself feeling sombre. Silence enveloped both of them for a few moments.

"I'm sorry. I was just thinking..." Liara broke the ice first.

"Feron?" Garrus guessed.

"Yes" Liara confirmed.

"I heard in your message that you miss him. Is there…something going on between you two?" Garrus attempted to sound casual.

"Uh…yes there is. About a year after the war, Feron came to me and just…told me everything. He admitted all his feelings in one go. I couldn't say no to him, I'd break his heart. After a while I realized myself that I care about him, a lot" Liara gushed.

"Do you love him?" Garrus asked.

"I don't know. Neither of us have said those words yet. I know deep down somewhere I do, but I…we need more time. It'll happen soon enough" Liara admitted.

"Well I'm happy for you Liara. You two deserve each other. You've both been through a lot" Garrus said.

"Thank you Garrus. That means a lot coming from you" Liara smiled.

"Anyway I should let you get ready. I better check on Shepard one last time. Goodnight Liara" Garrus bid her.

"Goodnight Garrus. Sleep well…or try to at least" Liara said.

"Same to you"

The bedroom was just as Garrus had left it when he went to see Liara. The bathroom door was still shut as well and Shepard wasn't around. Garrus had checked the apartment again but didn't find her. He didn't want to bother Liara so he was on his own for this.

Garrus did have a feeling in the back of his mind that Shepard was in the bathroom still. The shower wasn't running, but the door was closed. He didn't want to invade her privacy but he really had no choice. He was starting to feel worried again and needed to see if everything was okay. Pulling open the bathroom door, Garrus was briefly assaulted with a wave of hot steam – most likely from the shower. He brushed the steam out of his face with a hand. Garrus stepped onto the cool tile floor. There he found Shepard, lying on the tiled ground, wet still from her shower and slightly shivering. Garrus closed the door to keep the heat in, then turned back to Shepard.

"_I saw him again"_ Shepard muttered.

"What was that?" Garrus asked.

"_I saw him" _Shepard repeated.

"Saw who? Who did you see, Shepard?" Garrus pried her gently.

"_The Catalyst" _Shepard's eyes widened upon saying the name.

Garrus grabbed Shepard's towel off the towel bar and wrapped her in it. She still shivered every now and then, but it was helping at least. He got down to her level like he always did. This seemed like a good time to try and figure out who this 'Catalyst' is.

"Who is the Catalyst Shepard? We thought the Catalyst was the Citadel"

"_That's what we thought. But we were lied to" _Shepard voice was raspy. _"The Catalyst was some glowing, AI, godchild thing that gave me three choices"_

The Choices. So Shepard did have more than one way to destroy the Reapers. Garrus tried to entice that information out of her next.

"The Choices. Tell me about them" Garrus said.

"_Red, Green and Blue. That's all I had. And then refuse"_ Shepard words bounced out of her lips with an almost rhythmic quality.

Red, make the red stop. Garrus remembered from her previous anxiety attacks about her begging to make the red stop. The choice Shepard had made, casted a red light from the Crucible.

"You chose red" Garrus reminded her.

"_I didn't want to!" _Shepard burst suddenly. _"But every other choice resulted in death and I didn't want death. Not after everything I had accomplished. I'm…scared to die….again"_

"You're safe now, Shepard. You have to let go of whatever happened on the Citadel – on the Crucible. You need to come back, to the real Shepard I know" Garrus tried to encourage her.

Shepard glanced up at him from her spot on the floor. She was still lying down horizontally, wrapped in her beige towel. The steam that had once filled the bathroom had evaporated. A cool air was now settling around them; cool enough to even make Garrus shiver.

"But I can't forget. I see _him_ every day. He's in my dreams, in my eyes, in my _head_" Shepard talked fast.

Garrus discontinued his questions to Shepard. He didn't want to provoke an all out anxiety attack and wake Liara. Instead, he lifted her off the ground and brought her over the bed. The whole time he carried her, Shepard kept repeating _I can't forget._ But once Garrus had coupled the sheets around her, she stopped. Garrus stroked her hair once and kissed her cheek.

"Go to sleep. And for my sake, try to forget" Garrus whispered to her.

Shepard responded by closing her eyes and relaxing her tense muscles. Garrus wondered if she was sore at all from sitting in the same positions for hours. Garrus undressed after and wriggled into the opposite side of the bed. He felt Shepard shiver some more, so he put an arm around her to keep her warm.

For his own sake, Garrus decided to get some rest a well. Or at least try to, as Liara had told him.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Sleep was not going to come to Garrus tonight. He drifted off at one point in the night, but only for about two hours. Then his mind roused him awake and no amount of shutting his eyes made him return to the depths of sleep. He had no choice but to get up. Shepard was still asleep next to him which Garrus was grateful for. She needed the sleep, so he tried his best not to wake her as he exited the bedroom.

It was still early. The station time for the Citadel read four thirty. The apartment would remain enclosed in darkness for a couple more hours. But downstairs, Garrus noticed a light shining from down a hallway. No doubt it was Liara. She wouldn't be able to sleep at all, not with everything that was going on. Garrus figured he'd go see what she was up to, and walk towards the dim light.

"Can't sleep?" Garrus asked upon entering Liara's room.

Liara shot a brief glimpse at Garrus but had her attention back on her datapads in a heartbeat. Whatever she was doing, it must be important.

"No I can't sleep. I assume that goes the same for you?" Liara spoke.

"Mmhm," Garrus spoke gruffly. "Doing more research?"

Liara sighed, clearly displeased to be interrupted. She gave her full attention to Garrus.

"Yes I am. I've been up for hours now just reading and taking notes. I think I know the best way to cure Shepard's treatment. One part I think you'll agree with and the other part I may need to convince you"

Garrus propped himself up against the door frame and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Let's hear it."

"If you'll allow me to…join my mind with Shepard's, I would be able to explore her memories and witness everything that happened that day on the Crucible. I wish I had the ability to extract the memories from her – make her forget – but just performing the joining alone may help soothe her. The second part would be…therapy. I know you may not like it but the therapy will cure her depression and if the extranet is true, her catatonia will vanish as well," Liara explained her findings.

Garrus took a moment to process all the information Liara had told. It all made sense to him. He just wasn't sure of the therapy because that meant brining her back to the hospital. But the last time they visited, Shepard seemed fine. She didn't react and no memories triggered, what did he have to lose? And Liara had done the mind joining before with Shepard. She'd know what to do and he trusted her on that. Without further ado, Garrus made his choice.

"As much as I don't like the therapy, we have to do this. I trust you Liara. I'll let you join minds and we can start the therapy as soon as possible." Garrus said.

"That's what I was hoping to hear. Believe me Garrus, without the therapy, we'll never cure Shepard's condition. Medication could take a while. Therapy on the other hand is faster, sometimes instantaneous." Liara sounded hopeful.

"I really hope it's instantaneous. Even if Shepard is here, I miss her. If you know what I mean," Garrus spoke sadly.

"I know. It's not her. The real Shepard or rather her personality is buried underneath all that depression. But we have the answers Garrus. She'll return." Liara said.

She was right. Liara had finally found the answers that Garrus had tried to get for what seemed like ages ago. Getting back his old life with Shepard was closer than ever now.

"I can't thank you enough for what you're doing Liara. I'm glad to have a friend like you," Garrus admitted.

"As I am. I would never turn my back on you or Shepard. We've all been through too much," Liara said, and then smiled brightly.

Garrus nodded and told Liara they could start the mind joining today once Shepard awake. For now, Garrus returned upstairs and left Liara to finish some of her notes. In the bedroom again, Shepard hadn't moved at all. She was still sprawled out a bit on the bed. The covers were resting on her waist and her hair was strewn about on the pillow. Garrus settled himself on the bed and carefully moved Shepard's head to rest on his lap. He remembered when Shepard ues to do this all the time. She'd relax on the bed and let him stroke her soft hair endlessly. That's what he did now; gentle enough as to not wake his beloved.

"We have the answers Shepard," he whispered to her. "We know how to cure you."

* * *

Garrus didn't go back to bed after speaking with Liara. He stayed upstairs with Shepard until morning arrived on the Citadel. Bit by bit, light filtered into the apartment and brightened all the rooms. Shepard started to shift in her sleep which probably meant she was waking up. Garrus watched in silence as she came to.

Before she was totally awake, Garrus raised his omni-tool and whispered into it.

"Liara. She's waking up. Come meet me upstairs," Garrus informed.

She didn't send back a reply, but Garrus knew she had received his call. By the time Shepard had fully woken, Liara had arrived in the bedroom. She looked exhausted from no sleep. Garrus found himself worrying if she could do the joining at all.

Shepard propped herself up on the bed and look around. Her gaze flew over Garrus and landed on Liara. A smile formed, refreshing her tired face. Liara did her best to smile too, but it was barely noticeable. Garrus hauled himself off the bed and pulled Liara to the side.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked her. "You look exhausted. Isn't the joining strenuous?"

"It does drain the energy from my body, but I'll handle it. I've done this before Garrus. I'm also not 106 anymore. I'm 111 now," Liara said confidently.

"Alright. Go ahead," Garrus advised.

Liara stepped back into the room. Eerily, Shepard had been watching – staring at them the entire time. It made Garrus panic slightly – what if she had heard them? But then he shook the thought off, going with the fact Shepard was just doing her stare again.

"Shepard. How are you this morning?" Liara asked her.

Shepard didn't answer her. She kept staring wildly at Garrus. Liara turned to him and nodded her head at him. He knew what she meant – go wait outside. Relentlessly, he left the room and waited just outside the door. He kept himself in earshot though.

"Shepard?" Liara tried again.

"Liara. Where were you?" Shepard asked.

"I…was in my room. I came here to…try something with you," Liara's voice was slightly nervous.

"Try something," Shepard echoed her words.

"Yes. It will be quick. I just need you to relax and close your eyes," Liara told her calmly.

"Okay." Shepard followed Liara's instructions and closed her eyes.

Liara nestled herself on the bed. She crossed her legs and rested her hands on Shepard's shoulders. Peeking his head around the corner, Garrus couldn't resist his urge to watch the joining. Shepard couldn't see him now anyway. Liara took a deep breath and threw her head back quickly. Throwing it forward slowly, her forehead came to a rest on Shepard's. Her eyes opened, black as the night sky.

"Embrace Eternity." Liara chanted.

Nothing happened, at least nothing Garrus could see. Everything was happening inside their minds. Liara would hopefully be able to get access to Shepard's memories and witness whatever it was Shepard saw that day. It took a few moments, but eventually Liara's eyes returned to their natural colour. Shepard opened her eyes. Her expression was wonder and confusion. Liara on the other hand appeared shocked. She stood up remotely fast, breathing hard and holding the sides of her head. She backed herself into a wall.

"By the Goddess" she cursed. "I can't…it's too mu…I…"

Garrus rushed to her side just as Liara slid down the wall and onto the floor, still in utter shock.

"Liara? Liara what happened?" Garrus asked her worriedly.

Liara slowed her breathing and stopped clutching her head. Her eyes were still wide and flitted around room occasionally. Suddenly, Garrus noticed she no longer looked tired.

"Garrus. I…saw everything. The beam to the Citadel…the Illusive Man…Anderson's death. The Catalyst," Liara breathed.

"The Catalyst?" Garrus repeated.

"It's not the Citadel," Liara said. "It is…was an AI construct created by Leviathan. The Catalyst gave Shepard the…choices and she had to choose them."

"Hold on" Garrus helped Liara to her feet. She held his forearm like it was a lifeline. Garrus passed a look to Shepard. She was still sitting upright, staring ahead. Garrus didn't have time to see if she was alright. He had to speak with Liara. He took her out of the room and over the couches just outside the room.

"Okay," Garrus started again. "Tell me about the choices."

In the time it took to get Liara over to the couch, she had calmed herself down. The shock of what she just saw was steadily wearing off.

"The choices she had were Control, Destroy and Synthesis. Control was blue, Destroy was red and Synthesis was green" Liara explained.

_Red, Green and Blue. That's all I had_

Liara continued "All the choices were pretty self-explanatory. Control would grant Shepard the ability to control the Reapers herself, but at the cost of her life. Synthesis would unite all synthetics and organic life. Evolution as we know it would be altered and perfected, but that too would require Shepard to sacrifice herself."

For some reason, Garrus felt guilty. Synthesis seemed like an option Shepard would take in a heartbeat. Sacrificing herself for the greater good was something she'd been doing since Saren. But she didn't choose it because she wanted to come back to him and Garrus couldn't help but feel guilty. He prevented Shepard from making a better choice because…he loved her too much.

"And Destroy…well we know what that is. Destroy is what were living in now. The Reapers have been obliterated but we lost the geth and some other technology," Liara finished.

Garrus hung his head a bit "And EDI."

"Yes," Liara sighed. "And EDI."

"So the memory of making that choice caused her depression?" Garrus asked.

"So it would seem. I think she's just realizing now how big of a decision it was. In order to stop the Reapers, she had to stop all other synthetics as well." Liara said.

"Or maybe she's depressed because she made the wrong choice." Garrus said.

Liara looked at him with a sort of insulted expression. She squinted her eyes at him and shook her head.

"Don't say that. You know Shepard always makes the right choice. She always thinks before she acts," Liara spoke harshly.

"Really? Are you sure? Because Shepard tries to avoid huge consequences. The choice she made had an enormous impact on the galaxy," Garrus spoke equally as harsh.

"How could you say that about Shepard. She did was best for the who – "

"No." Garrus interrupted Liara. "She did what was best for me. She loves me too much just as I love her too much. I told her to come back. I can't live without her. So she had to pick the one choice that secures her life, just for us."

Liara's features soften and she sighed airily. She moved a hand to Garrus' forearm, a gesture she did almost every time she was about to share some sort of wisdom.

"Garrus. I doubt Shepard was thinking of herself and you just before she made that choice. She chose it to come back to you, but she also chose it in order to save us. Like the saying 'The needs of many versus few'. The geth are only a small casualty compared to everything and everyone else she saved so that we could finally live life without the Reapers," Liara expressed.

"I know it's just…damn…I can't help but feel guilt," Garrus admitted.

"I understand. Just remember what I said. None of this is your fault. It's the war's fault that Shepard broke like she has," Liara reminded him.

At that moment, Liara rose to her feet and started down the hall. She walked sort of limply, probably feeling lightheaded from the joining. Just before she disappeared downstairs again, Garrus called out to her.

"Make an arrangement to meet with a therapist tomorrow at Huerta. Part one of our plan is complete. Part two is next," Garrus made clear.

"I will," was all Liara said before she continued on.

Garrus returned himself to the bedroom to find Shepard still on the bed, swathed in sheets but instead of staring she had her face concealed by her hands. She was rocking herself again, but it seemed difficult on the bed. Now it looked like she was just jerking her upper body around.

"Hey. Are you okay," Garrus asked Shepard.

Shepard regarded him and a smile spread across her face immediately. She pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around her knees.

"I can't see him anymore," Shepard spoke lightly. "He's…gone from my dreams, from my mind, from my eyes."

Garrus knew she was referring to the Catalyst. He recalled Liara said she couldn't remove memories, but soothe her. And it appeared to have worked. If the Catalyst was no longer haunting Shepard's mind, that could only mean one thing. Garrus suddenly starting smiling just as much as Shepard.

This was a sign. A sign that Shepard, _his Shepard_ was coming back.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Just as scheduled, Garrus and Liara took Shepard to Huerta the next morning to meet with a therapist. Liara had taken the liberty of not telling Garrus who the therapist was, no matter how many times he demanded to know.

"You'll find out soon enough, Garrus," is all Liara ever said to him.

Garrus could only sigh at her stubbornness. Even if she was 111, she still acted like a child sometimes. The trip to the hospital was silent. Liara chose to sit in the back while Shepard rode passenger seat in the front. From time to time, Garrus would pass a glance into rear-view mirror to see what Liara was doing. Most of the time, she was just sifting through her datapads, probably compiling info for the therapist. He set the car down on the landing platform, just outside the hospital doors.

"We're here," Garrus said pointedly.

"Follow me. I know where to go," Liara spoke to the group.

Shepard didn't answer, but seemed to have understood. She exited the car without anyone having to tell her twice. Since the joining, her mood had significantly improved. Her staring off into oblivion still happened on a regular basis, but she didn't seem as lethargy as before and she spoke with some emotion now instead of the dull, monotone voice she adopted when all this began.

Garrus grasped one of Shepard's hands and lead her into the hospital. He felt a bit of astonishment when Shepard tenderly gripped his hand a little tighter. He continued to follow Liara down the sterile white hallway. Finally, she veered off the left and the three of them were presented with a grey door. A reflective gold name plate provided the identity of the therapist. Garrus read the name in his mind a couple of times over. He didn't believe what he was reading.

"Dr. Karen Chakwas," Garrus read aloud.

He turned to Liara who already had a sly smile loaded on her face.

"But…she told me she was busy," Garrus recalled.

"That was some time ago Garrus. I contacted Chakwas last night and filled her in on Shepard's condition. She had nothing but apologies. I waved them off and told her if she wanted to help us, we still had part two of our plan to complete," Liara explained.

"So…she's going to be the therapist for Shepard. And she won't back out this time?" Garrus asked.

"Not a chance. Chakwas may not have a degree in psychology, but she has experience and enough of it to help Shepard. Plus she's a friend. I wanted someone we could all trust," Liara said.

Garrus nodded his response. Liara raised a closed fist and knocked on the door three times in rapid succession. A minute passed before the door opened to reveal the unforgettable face of Dr. Chakwas. She looked better, Garrus immediately noticed. She didn't have dark circles clouding her eyes. Because of that, Chakwas look younger and ready.

"Garrus. Liara," she greeted. "It's so good to see you again."

Chakwas passed a nod to Shepard who did the same in return. Chakwas then ushered everybody inside. She shut the door behind them. Actually shut the door. Garrus thought doors with handles had gone extinct. The room was dimly lit. A few tall floor lamps provided the light. The walls were dark brown as well as the furniture. Two leather couches faced each other, with a coffee table placed in between them. Chakwas took one couch for herself while Garrus, Liara and Shepard crowed the other one. Once seated, Liara silently handed over a datapad to Chakwas.

"What am I looking at?" Chakwas wondered.

"Notes and information on what you should be questioning Shepard in order to help her let go of the past, in case you didn't know. I also have some notes there from myself – before and after thoughts about the joining," Liara thoroughly summarized.

Chakwas skimmed over the contents, her finger tapping the screen every couple of seconds. Garrus shot a look at Liara and saw she had a bit of disappointment on her face. Garrus was aware Liara liked to put detail into her notes and work. When people just skimmed over things, it upset her.

"Very thorough Liara," Chakwas complimented. "This does give me some insight on how to start the therapy."

"How long do you think it'll take?" Garrus asked.

"If her mood is already improving, I'd say I can rid Shepard of her depression in about three weeks," Chakwas sounded optimistic.

"That quickly," Liara said.

"It may seem that way, but I'll need to see her at least three to four times a week. I'm sorry if this causes inconveniences for you," Chakwas admitted.

"I can deal with it. The sooner Shepard is cured the better," Garrus said.

The first secession of therapy began. Chakwas had to shoo Garrus and Liara out of the room for privacy. She wanted to be alone with Shepard for this. Distractions wouldn't help her. Conveniently, two small leather chairs were located just outside the room. At least they had somewhere to sit while they waited for the hour to end.

Luckily for Garrus, the waiting game was something he was getting better at.

* * *

Liara had taken up browsing through her omni-tool for the hour they had to wait. Garrus had considered doing the same, but found himself not in the mood. Sitting quietly with his thoughts was enough entertainment for him.

"She should be done soon. We won't have to wait much longer out here," Liara spoke.

"Good. I hope everything went smoothly," Garrus said.

"I'm sure it did. We didn't hear and screaming from inside so obviously none of Chakwas' question triggered an anxiety attack," Liara said.

At that moment, the door reopened and Chakwas stood tall with a triumphant smile on. She waved a hand, signaling for them to enter.

"How'd it go?" Garrus asked promptly.

"Very well indeed," Chakwas said happily. "Shepard had a few…wary moments but I was able to help her through them before she escalated into something worse."

Garrus sighed, relieved that everything looked good so far. Liara herself gave off the impression of being relieved and pleased. Garrus took a seat next to Shepard. Liara sat on the other side of her.

"I've taken the liberty of preparing a schedule with all the days I'd like to see Shepard. Some weeks there are only three and other weeks there's four. If this goes faster than I thought, we can definitely cut it down to two," Chakwas explained.

She passed a datapad over Garrus. The remaining weeks for the month had markings all over it, indicating the days Chakwas wanted to see Shepard. None of days conflicted with Garrus, there wasn't much he could do anyway. Liara was fine with it too.

"You know Liara. You can always go back to your ship, to Feron," Garrus told her.

"It's fine. I want to stay…if that's okay with you. I want to see Shepard normal again before leave," Liara said.

"Of course you can stay. I just thought you'd go crazy without being glued to your monitors all day," Garrus joked.

"How original Vakarian," Liara jabbed. "I'll manage. Maybe I'll get Feron to send me some reports."

Chakwas gave a little cough, reminding them that she was still in the room. Garrus and Liara turned their attention back to her, both feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Thank you all for coming. I'll look forward to seeing you soon," Chakwas said.

Garrus shook Chakwas' hand before joining Liara and Shepard outside. Shepard hadn't spoken yet. He wondered if maybe the therapy was causing it. Chakwas had to bring up everything that Shepard didn't want to hear, and then talk about it. She just needed time.

The ride back to the apartment wasn't silent though. Liara sat passenger this time around and kept blabbering on about how successful the therapy went and starting coming up ideas of celebration for tonight or something. Garrus really wasn't listening. His was skilled in the art of just smiling and nodding to everything Liara said.

"How about we watch a vid tonight? Or maybe we could go to the sushi place. I doubt the fish tank will explode this time. No wait! Let's go out the Silver Coast. I've only been there a hand full of times," Liara rambled.

"Liara, Liara please stop. If we go out we can't bring Shepard with us," Garrus said.

"What? Why not?" Liara wondered.

"I can't risk it. The paparazzi and press will be following us. If they see that Shepard isn't acting as her usual self, they'll concoct all sorts of propaganda and theories and get everyone worried or worse. I don't want that," Garrus explained.

Liara looked shot down, like a child who'd been told off after doing something they weren't supposed to. Garrus couldn't help himself. He apologized to her. Later though, he'd kick himself for it. Liara performed 'puppy dog eyes' as Shepard once told him as if it were an art.

"So we can go out?" Liara asked.

"Yes but only you and me," Garrus said. "Shepard will have to stay here. I'll lock the door too."

"Then go get yourself ready," Liara said gleefully.

She hurried down the hall to her room, shutting the door tight behind her. Garrus shook his head and then chuckled a bit. He'd never thought he'd find Liara so…adorable when she was hyped up on excitement. Garrus lead Shepard back upstairs where he informed her of his plans.

"You're going out," she said.

"Yeah. We wanted to bring you, but Liara and I decided you've had a long day. Get some rest while we're gone," Garrus replied to her.

"Yeah, I am feeling tired, "Shepard decided. "Have fun though."

Before Garrus could respond to her, Shepard stopped him with a kiss. A real kiss. An indulgent, sweet kiss that they only shared during their most intimate moments. Garrus felt himself wanting more after they broke away. But he resisted. He settled for touching his forehead to hers affectionately.

"I'll see you soon" he whispered.

He could feel her eyes watching him as Garrus left the room and returned the bottom floor once more. He hadn't put on anything too formal. This was just a night out for celebration. No need to fancy it up. When he saw Liara though, he realized he was greatly mistaken. She was decked from head to toe in a lovely formal get-up.

"I can't go out with you if you're going to be wearing just that," Liara said.

"Deal with it T'soni," Garrus brushed her off her words. "Be glad I'm not going out in my armour. I can get if you want."

Liara rolled her eyes, tolerant of Garrus' humor.

"Let's just go."

* * *

The last time Garrus had visited the casino, he got blind drunk trying to wash away the anger and worry of when he learned Chakwas could no longer help. Now things were different, and he regretted that night. The casino wasn't too busy tonight, which meant he was able to get a seat at the bar with Liara. They stayed downstairs. Upstairs played more upbeat music and Garrus wanted to hear the soothing, jazzy piano the downstairs bar played instead.

Liara ordered both drinks. Both of them were surprised when the bartender recognized them. He told them, with a wink too that their drinks were on the house tonight.

"I'm glad we chose this place," Liara said. "We're practically here gratis."

She slid Garrus' drink over to him, and then held hers at eye level. Garrus did the same, reaching over just a bit.

"To Shepard. May her recovery go smoothly and quickly," Garrus raised.

"To Shepard," Liara repeated.

Their glasses clanged lightly together, and then each took a sip of the alcoholic beverage. Liara narrowed her eyes a little and shook her head. Either her drink was a tad sour or she still wasn't used to alcohol.

"Too strong, T'soni?" Garrus teased her.

"Quiet Vakarian. I'm not a very experience drinker," Liara shot back.

"I do remember quite well that you got pretty drunk at that party Shepard threw," Garrus recalled.

"It wasn't my fault. I was…over served," Liara admitted.

They had a laugh at that and spent the rest of the night reminiscing about the old days with Shepard. Garrus couldn't think of a better way to celebrate Shepard's imminent recovery.

* * *

_AN: Just because I'm in the spirit, Happy Canada Day to any fellow Canadians :D _


	10. Chapter 10

_AN: Well I hate to say it but this is the last chapter. I wanted to thank you all for joining me and this short and sweet journey...even if it wasn't very sweet. Thank you for the lovely reviews, I really appreciate it! :D_

* * *

Chapter 10

Therapy continued as planned. On the days that Chakwas had instructed, Garrus showed with Shepard in tow, no doubt. Sometimes Liara tagged along, but recently she had returned to her Shadow Broker work. Feron was apparently getting caught up all of it and needed another pair of hands, so to speak.

For the most part, Shepard had no serious problems with the therapy. She remained calm and answered all of Chakwas' questions to the best of her ability. On one occasion, she experienced another anxiety attack – with heavy, laboured breathing and mutterings of nonsense. Luckily, Garrus had been present during the appointment and used his knowledge from Shepard's previous anxiety attacks to calm her down and return her to a functional state.

The weeks started out slow, creeping along at a slug's pace. But soon the time started to soar and before Garrus realized it, the last week of therapy arrived. Shepard had improved quite well. At times, she still slipped into her wall staring or window staring, but her speech was getting better. She had a little hint of emotion in her voice, like the old Shepard. Her voice carried weight, and was slowly being uplifted from the monotone dullness.

Liara helped as well. She continued looking up other means of treatment but mostly she helped with the therapy. Not only was she one of Shepard's closest friends, she also had seen exactly what Shepard had gone through. The joining had been incredible and frightening, but helped immeasurably in the long run. On the days that Shepard didn't go to the hospital to see Chakwas, Liara sometimes sat down with her and talked, piqued a little more into what she'd seen. She tried to keep it discrete, but Garrus was aware of their meetings. He knew she was only doing this to help. Liara knew how desperate he was to have his Shepard back. So he didn't stop Liara and let her continue her little therapy secessions at home.

As the therapy moved along, Garrus took notice of Shepard's other behavior around the apartment. She started sleeping in the same bed with him again, instead of passing out on the couch. She helped prepare dinner. One time, she even asked Garrus if he wanted to go out, which prompted him to realize Shepard understood her surroundings. She was started to regain control of her thoughts. The memory of the Crucible was leaving her – or Shepard was finally letting it go. With her mind cleared of depression, her catatonia would be fading as well and Shepard would be…normal.

And Garrus could believe it.

* * *

The apartment was always quiet at night. Not uncomfortably quiet – a good quiet that allowed you to think or work or read peacefully. Garrus was flipping through a report on Shepard that Chakwas wrote up every time they had a therapy secession. She said it was necessary Garrus knew what happened. Sometimes Chakwas let him the room, and sometimes she didn't which was quite common. On the days Garrus had to wait outside, he always let the hospital with a progress report. Shepard was upstairs in bed. It wasn't even that late but she convinced Garrus she couldn't keep her eyes open any longer and went to bed. Liara was somewhere in the apartment. At times, she wasn't in her room, but wandering around claiming to be reminiscing about the old days. She even once admitted she wanted to go back to those times, even if it meant having to relive the nightmare of the Reapers. Her life was so subtle now. She missed the adventure and action and people on the Normandy.

Inside, Garrus knew his missed those days as well but he'd never admit it. He loathed every second of battling the Reapers. He had a front row seat from Palaven's moon as the Reapers invaded his home. Hell, he even saw his home – his birthplace burning bright orange and red from the moon. And at the time, there had not been a damn thing he could do about it. But deep inside him, he missed the adrenaline, the challenge of pulling the trigger on a Reaper-fied person that could have – maybe – been someone he knew once. During those times, Garrus convinced himself he was shooting them to end their misery. And because they were shooting and trying to kill him. But two years is a long to think and recall events that no matter how hard you try, you'll never forget. _Ever._

"Garrus?" a voice spoke his name.

"Liara." Garrus said her name without making eye contact.

"Are you busy?" she asked, sounding nervous. Or awkward.

Garrus faced her. Liara stood with posture like a statue, ringing and twisting her hands together. A habit she'd been doing since they met.

"No I'm not. What's up?" Garrus asked.

"I…uh just wanted to let you know I'll be leaving tomorrow. I think I've stayed my welcome and Shepard seemed to have improved greatly," Liara explained.

"Are you sure? Tomorrow is her last treatment. Don't you want to be there?" Garrus informed.

"I know but the only person who should be there is you. You should be there with her, not me," Liara said.

Garrus sighed, sure with himself that he wouldn't be able to convince Liara to stay.

"Alright. Just make sure you don't leave until I'm up. I want to say goodbye," Garrus told her.

"Of course. I'm not going to barge out first thing in the morning. I have many 'thank yous'," Liara said, smiling.

Garrus returned her smile and collected up the report from Chakwas. He was about to head upstairs, when Liara called him again.

"Yes," he replied to her.

"Before you go I wanted to ask you something," she said nervously again.

"Shoot, T'soni," Garrus said.

"I was curiously wondering if you would like…to experience what Shepard saw on the Crucible. I can pass on the memories to you…if you'd like. I just…felt wrong keeping them from you and I thought you deserved to see for yourself," Liara explained.

Garrus averted his gaze from Liara and stared into the floor. If eyes could kill, there would be a giant hole in the floor right now. That's how much he bore his eyes into the floor while he thought over what Liara had just told him.

"I didn't mean to offend you, if I have. I just thought…"

"No."

"What?" Liara asked.

"You haven't offended me. I was just…thinking everything over. I want to see it," Garrus decided.

Liara continued to regard Garrus like she had no clue what he just spoke. But soon enough, she shook her head quickly and regained her focus.

"I was hoping you'd say that. Come here," she beckoned.

Garrus obeyed and approached Liara. She herself moved closer and soon Garrus was closer to Liara than he'd ever been. Suddenly, he felt extremely awkward being this close to her. He wasn't used to it. Sure, she had reached out and touched him before but that was for reassurance or comfort. This felt very intimate all too quickly. Garrus felt glad Shepard was upstairs asleep. He didn't want her getting the…wrong impression.

"Close your eyes," Liara stated.

Garrus did as she instructed. Then he felt her hands grip his forearms gently. She took deep breath, inhale and exhale, probably a way to prepare for the…joining.

"Relax and let go of your physical body," Liara spoke spiritually. "Embrace eternity."

Garrus felt a small tingle run the length of his body. He felt like nothing was happening until he heard Liara speak. Her voice echoed around him. Opening his eyes, Garrus found himself standing on…nothing. Everything around him was black. Stars or something glittered around him. He tried to speak, but nothing would leave his mouth. Liara was next to him, her lips sealed as well. Suddenly, a thin, white line appeared at the…horizon of the black space. It grew bigger and wider and soon sucked both of them in to uncertainty. The light shone unnaturally bright into Garrus' eyes. He had to close them before he went blind. That probably wouldn't happen but you can never be too careful.

A slight tug on his arm made him reopen his eyes. In front of him was a stand-off between the Illusive Man, Anderson and Shepard, who was in a brutal shape. Garrus had to look away for just a moment. Liara was still beside him, her full attention on the standoff – no, the memory playing out in front of them. For the most part, Garrus was able to keep his attention on the memory, but at some moments, he had to look away because seeing Shepard injured again was just a little too much for him.

A white light flashed again, and when Garrus reopened his eyes, he was now seeing the Crucible. It was incredible. Around them was Earth and he could see some Reapers and Alliance ships and Asari ships, Turians ships and more all circling the Crucible. They were defending the Crucible while Shepard prepped it. Speaking of Shepard, Garrus darted his eyes around the magnificent structure until his rested upon her. She was limping and speaking weakly to a glowing child – probably the Catalyst.

"_That is the Catalyst."_ Liara's voice echoed again, but it wasn't coming from her even if she was standing right next to Garrus. All in his mind, he assumed. After a handful of minutes of watching Shepard converse with the Catalyst about her choices, the time came. The glowing child thing backed up and the paths to each choice opened up. Shepard started to make her way up the ramp that would take her to Destroy. Garrus witness with total awe as Shepard fired a few rounds into the mechanism. Then spontaneously, it exploded. Shepard was engulfed in a cloud of fire and the Crucible itself turned red. A wave of red washed over Earth, cleansing the planet of Reapers. The Reapers around the Crucible stopped firing and blew up all at once. Then the Crucible fired a red beam towards the Mass Relay. The Crucible started shaking and falling in on itself. The Citadel collapsed as well. And then a white light blinded Garrus once again.

When he came to, Garrus was back in the familiar apartment, even though he had never left. Liara was still gripping his arms with the same gentle pressure. Her eyes fluttered open and Garrus caught her eyes slowly reversing from black to her nature eye colour.

"So…how do you feel?" Liara asked.

"I…it's…that was pretty amazing actually if not a little creepy at the same time," Garrus said.

"The joining can be a life changing experience to some. I hope you won't be to…scarred from what I just showed you," Liara said.

"Scarred? Hardly. I understand more now than I ever did. Thanks, Liara," Garrus expressed.

"You're welcome," Liara said softly.

She released her grip on Garrus and moved out of his personal space. She smiled a bit before bidding him goodnight. Garrus did the same, watching Liara head down the hall to her room. Garrus returned to his room upstairs, Shepard still peacefully asleep. He joined her and spent the night dreaming about the memory he just witnessed.

* * *

_2 months later_

Garrus was glad to be waking up in the morning hearing the relaxing sound of the ocean waves and caw from the birds that Shepard called 'Seagulls' that circled their house. Being back at their beach house on Earth was better than the apartment on the Citadel. Too much neon and recycled station air. The beach would always be paradise to Garrus.

Shepard had made a full recovery from her catatonic depression. She was back to her normal self and Chakwas guaranteed that she wouldn't slip back into it. Liara was able to deflect any rumors from the news. Garrus didn't want this going galaxy-wide. Shepard had enough publicity already. Oddly enough she didn't remember much from the depression. She said most of her mind was replaying moments from what she had seen on the Crucible. She guessed that it just suddenly became too much for her and she slipped away into a depressed state. But now that she was cured, she was never going to slip away again. She'd fight it.

"I'll never let worry you like that again," Shepard told Garrus.

"You better not. I was a nervous, worried wreck. I'm usually not like that but ever since we got together, it's like a natural response," Garrus said.

"Welcome to life of being a boyfriend Garrus. You'll never stop worrying about me," Shepard teased.

"And you'll never stop worrying about me," Garrus said before leaning down to kiss her.

"Never," Shepard agreed between the kiss.

Underneath her hard, unbreakable shell, Shepard had always been a little fragile. But Garrus would be there forever to protect and he would never let her slip away like that again. Shepard was his everything, and Garrus was her everything.


End file.
